Young drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many countries. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to control it?
Sample Response
Today, juveniles consume more illegal drugs than in the past. They have better accessa better access to a wider variety of opioid and non-opioid substancesmore variety of opioid or non-opioid materials and use them far more frequentlyremarkably. From my point of view, two important reasons have causedmade this problem, and several practical measuresimplementations must be considered by governments to tackle it.
To begin with, one leading reason why youth use more illicit drugs is that these substancesmaterials have become more accessible than before. Obviously, drug dealers have expanded their territories in many countries, such as Colombia in South Americalike Columbia in the South America or Afghanistan in Asia, and their control has become far more challenging than in the past. To address this problem, the best option is the introduction of harsher penaltiesconsideration of more severe charges for those selling these dreadful products. In this case, in some countries, leaders of this system are charged with life imprisonmentlifetime probation, or even in other countries, including Iran, they may face capital punishment. Therefore, these severe penalties can partly be helpful to control the expansion of the illegal drug tradeillegal drugs’ industries, and young generation will be less exposed to these perilous substances.
Another factor is public accessAnother factor is accessing of the public to more different types of these substances. Admittedly, advancement of technology has led to the production of more synthetic drugshas led more synthetic goods are generated and cheaper artificial drugs are to be produced. For instance, Crack, which is a synthetic form of Heroin, is more available to the public than the other former natural opioid, leading adolescents or teens are able to afford it more easilypay better for it. Had not this non-natural material become so available, fewer people would have been addicted. To solve this, one important step is increasing the healthcare budgetbudget of healthcare. Definitely, many users do not have thorough information about the devastating side effects of these drugs and with better outreach to this age groupwhile having a better control on this age group, healthcare staff will be able to recognise better those individuals consuming these drugs and inform them how they can avoid using them.
In conclusion, now youth have access to more illicit drugs than before. the expansion of drug dealers’ activitiesPropagation of dealers’ function and variation of these materials are two important reasons behind it. I think consideration of more severe law enforcement and having a better consultation of young people are two phenomenal actions to address it.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response answers both parts directly and maintains a clear cause-and-solution structure, supported by relevant topic vocabulary and examples. Its main limitation is that the two causes overlap and the healthcare response is not fully explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken control; broaden the analysis to social influences and show precisely how prevention, treatment, and enforcement would reduce youth drug use.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both parts by identifying accessibility and synthetic drugs as reasons and suggesting penalties and healthcare responses. Some ideas are relevant but narrow, and the healthcare solution needs clearer explanation.
Add social causes such as peer pressure or family problems, and explain prevention measures alongside punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear, with each body paragraph pairing a cause and a solution. However, some sentences are long and the second cause overlaps with the first.
Use clearer topic sentences and separate cause, example, and solution within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, including illicit drugs, synthetic goods, devastating side effects, and healthcare staff. Some word choices are inaccurate or too technical for the intended meaning.
Use natural collocations such as access to drugs, harsher penalties, synthetic drugs, public awareness, and treatment services.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but grammar errors with articles, gerunds, passive forms, and complex clauses are frequent.
Simplify long sentences and check verb patterns after lead to, access, and consider.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Young drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many countries. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to control it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.