The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the expenditure of US residents in two different years in seven categories namely food, cars, petrol, restaurants, furniture, computers and books. It is clear that the largest proportion of American citizens’ spending went on foods and cars. On the other hand, computers and books have the lowest percentage in the chart in 1966 and 1996 respectively. In 1966, 23% of American citizens’ expenditure went on cars. The percentage rose to nearly double at 45% in 1996.The proportion of spending on food fell from 44% in 1966 to only 14% in 1996. Expenditure on computers stood at only 1% in 1966 but reached 10% in 1996. The percentage of American citizens spending on restaurants had doubled from 7% in 1966 to 14% in 1996. Spending on books was highest in 1966, at 6%. By contrast, there was no significant change in the proportions of petrol and furniture over a period as a whole.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate namely phrase Original: categories namely Suggested revision: categories, namely Why it matters: A comma is required before "namely" when it introduces the category list.
- 2. Use uncountable food Original: foods Suggested revision: food Why it matters: The chart category is the uncountable noun "food".
- 3. Fix tense and number Original: have the lowest percentage Suggested revision: had the lowest shares Why it matters: Past tense is needed for 1966 and 1996, and two categories require a plural noun.
- 4. Use plural charts Original: chart Suggested revision: charts Why it matters: The task presents two pie charts.
- 5. Express doubling clearly Original: rose to nearly double at 45% Suggested revision: nearly doubled to 45% Why it matters: The revised verb phrase states the change and final value naturally.
- 6. Name spending share Original: The percentage of American citizens spending on restaurants Suggested revision: The proportion of expenditure on restaurants Why it matters: The chart measures the share of expenditure, not the percentage of citizens.
- 7. Use simple past Original: had doubled Suggested revision: doubled Why it matters: Simple past is sufficient for a direct comparison between the two chart years.
- 8. Add definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The specific period shown by the charts requires the definite article.
- 9. Tighten opening phrase Original: compare the expenditure of US residents Suggested revision: compare US residents' expenditure Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise while preserving the same meaning.
- 10. Name both years Original: two different years Suggested revision: 1966 and 1996 Why it matters: Stating the years directly makes the introduction more informative.
- 11. Signal the overview Original: It is clear that Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: An explicit overview marker is more concise and clearly signals the main features.
- 12. Use plural shares Original: the largest proportion of American citizens’ spending Suggested revision: the largest shares of expenditure Why it matters: Two different leading categories across two years require a plural noun phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- categories namely categories, namely
- foods food
- have the lowest percentage had the lowest shares
- chart charts
- rose to nearly double at 45% nearly doubled to 45%
- The percentage of American citizens spending on restaurants The proportion of expenditure on restaurants
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response selects most of the important changes and supports them with accurate figures, particularly for food, cars, computers and restaurants. Its main limitation is the inaccurate claim that books were the highest category in 1966, when food accounted for the largest share, while several smaller categories receive limited detail. The priority is to verify every comparative claim against both charts and state the smaller changes more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-chosen figures capture most major changes, although the claim that books were highest in 1966 is inaccurate.
Check every superlative against the charts and specify that books fell from 6% to 1% while food was highest in 1966.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from overview to major increases and decreases, with effective contrast despite being presented as a single paragraph.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and group rising categories before the declining or stable ones.
Lexical Resource
A good range of expenditure and comparison vocabulary is used, with occasional imprecise phrases such as "foods" and "citizens spending".
Use precise noun phrases such as "spending on food" and "the proportion allocated to restaurants" consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and generally accurate, with minor lapses in tense choice, punctuation and article use that do not impede meaning.
Proofread sentence boundaries and keep past-tense comparisons consistent, particularly around the 1996 figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.