The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare Americans' expenditure in 7 different categories, namely7 different categories namely food, cars, petrol, restaurants, furniture, computers and books in 1966 and 1996in 1966 with that of 1996. Overall, the least significant percentage of spending by Americans went on computers in 1966 while the food cost them the highest percentage. After three decades, cars became the largest segment of expenses by American residents and the smallest segment was spent on books, percentage-wise. Cars accounted for 23 percent of expenses by Americans in 1966 and after thirty years, this figure rose markedlythis ratio remarkably increased to 45%. Spending on dining outThe expense of dining out in 1966 was 7 percent and it doubledit had doubled in 1996 (14%). Only 1 percent of the Americans' spendingAmerican population's money was spent on computerswent on purchasing computers but this figure rose to 10 percent in 1996. Food accounted for 44 percentFood comprised 44 percent of all the expenditure by Americansexpenses made by Americans in 1966, and it fell to 14 percent in 1996. In 1966, spending on petrol and furniture waspetrol and furniture outlay was at 9 percent and 10 percent respectively and changed only slightlyremained relatively unchanged over a 30-year period. Lastly, expenditure on books fellhad plunged from 6 percent to 1 percent byat the end of the period.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its comprehensive and accurate selection of data, including a clear overview of the changing largest and smallest categories and well-chosen figures for every segment. Its main limitation is presentation in a single paragraph, alongside a few awkward collocations and minor grammatical slips. Prioritize separating the overview from grouped comparisons while retaining the same concise, data-focused coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the main changes and supports them with well-selected figures covering all seven categories.
Refine the analysis by explicitly contrasting the sharp changes with the relatively stable petrol and furniture shares.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive devices guide the reader, but the entire report is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use a separate overview and two detail paragraphs grouped by categories that rose and categories that fell or stayed stable.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly precise, with occasional awkward expressions such as 'the food cost them the highest percentage.'
Prefer natural collocations such as 'food accounted for the largest share' and 'spending on computers.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with good overall control, although a few agreement and modifier errors remain.
Check agreement in combined subjects such as 'petrol and furniture outlays were' and tighten awkwardly modified clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.