The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002
Sample Response
The table illustrates the proportion of expenditure of citizens from five various nations in the year 2002. In general, it can be seen that every consumer in all the five countries tended to spend more money on food, drinks and tobacco than clothing and footwear, which was then followed by leisure and education.
First of all, Turkey was the country where citizens spent most of their money on food, drinks and tobacco (32.14%) than any other countries which were lower than 30%. A similar trend can be observed for the spending on leisure and education, that is consumers in Turkey allocated the majority of their money in this sector (4.35%) compared to other nations (less than 3.50%) with the minority of consumers from Spain (1.98%).
Turning to the expenditure on clothing and footwear, Italy turned out to be the country which had its citizens to spend most of their incomes to buy clothes and footwear (9.00%), which was then followed by Turkey (6.63%) and the country with the least spending on these stuff was Sweden (5.40%). Besides, Sweden was also the country which spent the least money on food, drinks and tobacco among the five countries (2.21%).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: proportion of expenditure of citizens Suggested revision: proportions of consumer expenditure Why it matters: The replacement expresses percentages of national spending more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Avoid redundant wording Original: five various nations Suggested revision: five countries Why it matters: The table already establishes variety, so the shorter noun phrase is clearer.
- 3. Use concise date Original: in the year 2002 Suggested revision: in 2002 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is standard in data descriptions.
- 4. Describe national data Original: every consumer in all the five countries Suggested revision: all five countries Why it matters: The table reports national expenditure shares rather than the behavior of every individual consumer.
- 5. Describe percentages accurately Original: tended to spend more money Suggested revision: allocated a higher proportion of expenditure Why it matters: The visual compares percentage shares, not absolute amounts of money.
- 6. Fix comparison structure Original: clothing and footwear, which was then followed by Suggested revision: clothing and footwear, followed by Why it matters: The reduced phrase correctly completes the ranking without an unclear relative-clause reference.
- 7. Use category link Original: First of all Suggested revision: Regarding food, drinks and tobacco Why it matters: A category-specific transition makes the paragraph's focus immediately clear.
- 8. Avoid false majority Original: country where citizens spent most of their money Suggested revision: country with the highest share of spending Why it matters: Turkey had the largest percentage in this category, but 32.14% was not most of total expenditure.
- 9. Fix comparison form Original: than any other countries Suggested revision: compared with all the other countries Why it matters: This form makes the comparison grammatical and unambiguous.
- 10. Clarify relative clause Original: which were lower than 30% Suggested revision: whose figures were below 30% Why it matters: The figures, rather than the countries themselves, were below 30%.
- 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: Turning to the expenditure on Suggested revision: Turning to expenditure on Why it matters: The uncountable noun is more natural without the definite article here.
- 12. Use direct reporting Original: turned out to be Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The direct verb is more concise and objective for reporting table data.
Suggested Rewrites
- proportion of expenditure of citizens proportions of consumer expenditure
- five various nations five countries
- in the year 2002 in 2002
- every consumer in all the five countries all five countries
- tended to spend more money allocated a higher proportion of expenditure
- clothing and footwear, which was then followed by clothing and footwear, followed by
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes a clear overview and selects several useful high and low points, giving the report a focused comparison across spending categories. Its main limitation is accuracy, especially the claim that Sweden spent 2.21% on food, drinks and tobacco when the table shows 15.77%, alongside some awkward comparison structures. Check every cited figure against the table, then express each ranking in a simpler, grammatically controlled sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and relevant category leaders are presented, but one important Swedish figure is reported inaccurately.
Verify each number against its row and category, particularly Sweden's 15.77% food, drinks and tobacco figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from the overview to category-based comparisons, although some long sentences and references are awkward.
Use shorter comparison sentences and make each pronoun or relative clause refer unambiguously to one country or category.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers expenditure and comparison adequately, but several choices such as "minority of consumers" and "these stuff" are imprecise or informal.
Prefer precise expressions such as "the lowest proportion" and "these items" while reducing repetition of "spent" and "consumers".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring comparative, article, agreement and clause-control errors weaken accuracy.
Practise structures such as "Turkey spent more than the other countries" and proofread articles, plurals and relative clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Percentage of national consumer expenditure by category - 2002
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.