The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Units of electricity by fuel source in Australia Units of electricity by fuel source in France
Sample Response
The given pie charts illustrate the changes on the fuel sources for making electricity in two different countries in 1980 and 2000. From this chart, we can immediately observe that the total production of electricity in 2000 was around twice as it was in 1980, both in Australia and France. However, the amount of electricity production by different fuel sources was quite different in both countries.
For Australia, in 1980, there were 20 units and 10 units of electricity produced by natural gas and oil, respectively. Dramatically, in 2000, the demand of both of these sources got decreased, and only 4 units of electricity were produced. Moreover, no significant changes happened in the amount of electricity made by hydropower in 1980, and 2000 as well.
However, as a fuel source that hasn’t been used in Australia, nuclear power seems to be more popular in France, which made 15 units in 1980. In 2000, apparently, nuclear power became the main fuel source for producing electricity. 126 units of electricity were made from this source, which was 8 times as many as the amount in 1980. Furthermore, there was no change in the usage of coal for make electricity between 1980 and 2000. In contrast, the amount of electricity made by coal increased significantly, compared with in 1980.
All in all, there was a lot of change on the different fuel sources for making the amount of electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: on Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Changes to the composition of fuel sources are described with “in.”
- 2. Use precise production phrase Original: fuel sources for making electricity Suggested revision: fuel sources used to produce electricity Why it matters: This wording is more precise and natural for electricity generation.
- 3. Remove unnecessary comma Original: For Australia, in 1980 Suggested revision: In Australia in 1980 Why it matters: The country and year form one introductory time-and-place phrase without an internal comma.
- 4. Use past-time form Original: hasn’t been used Suggested revision: was not used Why it matters: The charts describe two completed years in the past.
- 5. State comparison directly Original: seems to be more popular Suggested revision: was used much more Why it matters: The chart provides historical quantities, so a speculative present-tense claim is inappropriate.
- 6. Fix relative clause Original: which made 15 units Suggested revision: where it generated 15 units Why it matters: France is the location, while nuclear power is the source that generated the electricity.
- 7. Remove subjective adverb Original: In 2000, apparently, Suggested revision: By 2000, Why it matters: The chart establishes the fact directly, so “apparently” adds unnecessary uncertainty.
- 8. Use concise terminology Original: main fuel source for producing electricity Suggested revision: main source of electricity Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same chart category more naturally.
- 9. Use generation verb Original: were made from this source Suggested revision: were generated from nuclear power Why it matters: “Generated” is the precise verb, and naming the source avoids a vague reference.
- 10. Compare uncountable output Original: 8 times as many as Suggested revision: over eight times as much as Why it matters: Electricity is uncountable, and 126 units is slightly more than eight times 15.
- 11. Use infinitive form Original: usage of coal for make electricity Suggested revision: use of coal to produce electricity Why it matters: “To produce” is required after the noun phrase expressing purpose.
- 12. Identify country shift Original: In contrast Suggested revision: In Australia, by contrast Why it matters: Naming Australia prevents this coal trend from contradicting the preceding French comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- on in
- fuel sources for making electricity fuel sources used to produce electricity
- For Australia, in 1980 In Australia in 1980
- hasn’t been used was not used
- seems to be more popular was used much more
- which made 15 units where it generated 15 units
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response recognises the growth in total production and accurately highlights France’s major shift to nuclear power, with some correct Australian figures. Its main limitation is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate comparison: Australia’s dominant coal increase is only mentioned ambiguously, hydropower rose from 20 to 36 units, and several French fuel changes are omitted. Prioritise comparing every fuel within each country using clearly attributed values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies some major features and accurate figures, but important fuel changes are omitted, unclear, or inaccurately described.
Compare all five sources systematically, especially Australia’s coal rise and the contrasting minor-source changes in France.
Coherence and Cohesion
Country-based paragraphs provide a recognisable structure, though ambiguous references and contradictory coal statements weaken progression.
Name the country and fuel in every comparison and place the Australian and French coal trends in their respective detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied electricity and trend vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Use standard phrases such as ‘electricity generated from’, ‘output rose’, ‘remained unchanged’, and ‘accounted for’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is often clear, but frequent article, preposition, tense, comparison, and clause-construction errors limit grammatical control.
Simplify complex sentences and proofread verb patterns after ‘used for’, ‘produced from’, and comparative expressions.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Units of electricity by fuel source in Australia Units of electricity by fuel source in France
Your response
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