The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Sample Response
The pie charts reveal units of electricity produced by fuel source in Australia and France in two different years, 1980 and 2000. In general, coal was the main source for electricity production in Australia and nuclear power replaces other fuel sources in France in 2000.
Looking at the details, in 1980 coal accounted exactly a half of the electricity production in Australia, 50 out of 100 units. Yet, the oil source was true as the smallest proportion, only 10 units of 100 units. Meanwhile, in France, coal and natural gas were noticed as main sources of electricity, they both generated 25 units each out of 90 units. In contrast, hydropower shaped a tiny proportion, only 5 out of 90 units.
Furthermore, in 2000, electricity produced from coal resource rose dramatically in Australia; it accounted 130 out 170 units and exactly was the biggest proportion among other sources, while natural gas and nuclear power produced lower electricity than in 1980. It was only 4 units of both. In contrast, in France, nuclear power was the biggest electricity sources. It amassed 126 out of 180 units, nearly 3 quarters. Meanwhile, electricity from natural gas decreased significantly, only 2 units out of 180 units.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise description Original: The pie charts reveal units of electricity produced Suggested revision: The pie charts show electricity production Why it matters: The replacement states the measured subject more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: in two different years, 1980 and 2000 Suggested revision: in 1980 and 2000 Why it matters: Naming the two years already makes clear that they are different.
- 3. Fix preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The standard noun phrase uses 'source of' here.
- 4. Correct the overview Original: nuclear power replaces other fuel sources Suggested revision: nuclear power became the dominant source Why it matters: Other fuels remained in use in France in 2000, while nuclear power supplied the largest share.
- 5. Fix account phrase Original: coal accounted exactly a half Suggested revision: coal accounted for exactly half Why it matters: The verb phrase requires 'for', and 'half' does not need an article here.
- 6. State rank naturally Original: the oil source was true as the smallest proportion Suggested revision: oil was the smallest source Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic and obscures the comparison.
- 7. Fix proportion phrase Original: only 10 units of 100 units Suggested revision: only 10 of the 100 units Why it matters: Use 'of the total' structure to express a part of the production total.
- 8. State joint ranking Original: were noticed as main sources of electricity Suggested revision: were the joint-largest sources of electricity Why it matters: Both fuels produced 25 units, the equal highest values in France in 1980.
- 9. Remove duplication Original: they both generated 25 units each Suggested revision: each generated 25 units Why it matters: Using both 'both' and 'each' is redundant.
- 10. Fix chart collocation Original: hydropower shaped a tiny proportion Suggested revision: hydropower accounted for a tiny proportion Why it matters: A source 'accounts for' a proportion; it does not 'shape' one.
- 11. Use source name Original: coal resource Suggested revision: coal Why it matters: The category is simply labelled 'coal', so 'resource' is unnecessary.
- 12. Add required prepositions Original: accounted 130 out 170 units Suggested revision: accounted for 130 of 170 units Why it matters: The construction requires 'accounted for' and 'of' before the total.
Suggested Rewrites
- The pie charts reveal units of electricity produced The pie charts show electricity production
- in two different years, 1980 and 2000 in 1980 and 2000
- for of
- nuclear power replaces other fuel sources nuclear power became the dominant source
- coal accounted exactly a half coal accounted for exactly half
- the oil source was true as the smallest proportion oil was the smallest source
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its accurate overview of coal's growing dominance in Australia and nuclear power's dominance in France by 2000. However, coverage is selective and one major detail is misread: Australia's two four-unit minor sources were natural gas and oil, while nuclear power remained absent; several other fuel figures are omitted. Prioritise systematic country-by-country comparisons that identify all major rises, falls and unchanged categories with correct units.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the two dominant 2000 sources and several figures correctly, but important categories are omitted and Australia's minor sources are misidentified.
Report that Australian oil and gas each fell to two units while hydropower rose to 36 and nuclear stayed at zero, then cover France's coal, oil and hydropower figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to 1980 and 2000 details, although comparisons are sometimes isolated and reference words are unclear.
Within each year, compare Australia and France source by source, and replace vague references such as 'It was only 4 units of both' with named fuels.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of chart vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations make descriptions of proportions and production sound unnatural.
Use standard phrases such as 'accounted for half', 'generated 25 units', 'rose to 130 units' and 'was the largest source'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but missing prepositions, agreement errors, comma splices and unclear pronoun reference recur.
Add 'for' after 'accounted', match singular and plural nouns, and separate comma-linked independent clauses into complete sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.