The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Sample Response
Pie graphs reveal information about the units of electricity production in two countries - Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Five kinds of fuel sources namely coal, oil, natural gas, hydropower and nuclear power were used for producing electricity in these two countries.
To begin with, the main source of power in Australia was coal and it produced 50 units of electricity in 1980 which was half of the total production. Natural gas and hydropower were used to generate 40 units of electricity in this year. After 20 years there was a rapid increase in the usage of coal that generated 130 units among the total 170 units. However, there was a gradual fall on the usages of natural gas and oil as it supplied tiny fractions of the total electricity produced this year in Australia.
On the contrary in France coal, natural gas and oil were mainly used to produce necessary electric power while in later years the use of nuclear power increases tremendously. While only 15 units of electricity were generated using this source in 1980, it increased to 126 in 2000. Use of hydropower and natural gas was being replaced by this new energy source.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard term Original: Pie graphs Suggested revision: The pie charts Why it matters: Use the standard term for the visuals and add the definite article.
- 2. Clarify measured quantity Original: information about the units of electricity production Suggested revision: information about the number of electricity units produced Why it matters: This wording states the measured quantity more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: Five kinds of fuel sources Suggested revision: Five fuel sources Why it matters: A fuel source is already a kind or category, so both terms are unnecessary.
- 4. Use natural reference Original: in this year Suggested revision: that year Why it matters: Use 'that year' to refer back naturally to 1980.
- 5. Use correct noun Original: usage Suggested revision: use Why it matters: 'Use' is the natural noun for the consumption of a fuel source here.
- 6. Correct proportion phrase Original: 130 units among the total 170 units Suggested revision: 130 of the total 170 units Why it matters: Use 'of' to show that 130 units form part of the total.
- 7. Use accurate contrast Original: On the contrary in France Suggested revision: By contrast, in France, Why it matters: 'By contrast' correctly compares France with Australia, and commas separate the linking phrase.
- 8. Fix time and tense Original: in later years the use of nuclear power increases tremendously Suggested revision: by 2000 the use of nuclear power had increased dramatically Why it matters: The completed change between 1980 and 2000 requires a precise time reference and past tense.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: However, there was a gradual fall on the usages of natural gas and oil as it supplied tiny fractions of the total electricity produced this year in Australia. Suggested revision: However, the use of natural gas and oil fell, with each source supplying only 2 units of Australia's electricity in 2000. Why it matters: The charts provide only two time points, so 'gradual' is unsupported, while the rewrite reports both 2000 figures accurately.
- 10. Add a clear overview Suggested revision: Add an overview stating that total production rose in both countries, with coal dominant in Australia and nuclear power dominant in France by 2000. Why it matters: The introduction lists categories but does not summarise the most important cross-country patterns shown in the charts.
Suggested Rewrites
- Pie graphs The pie charts
- information about the units of electricity production information about the number of electricity units produced
- Five kinds of fuel sources Five fuel sources
- in this year that year
- usage use
- 130 units among the total 170 units 130 of the total 170 units
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear country-by-country organisation and its generally accurate reporting of the dominant changes in coal use in Australia and nuclear power in France. Its main limitation is incomplete Task Achievement: it lacks a distinct overview and omits important features, especially Australia's 36 units of hydropower in 2000 and France's continuing coal and oil production. Prioritise a concise overview and fuller comparisons of the largest and smallest categories across both years and countries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the dominant coal and nuclear trends, but it lacks a distinct overview and omits several important figures and comparisons.
Add a concise overview of the contrasting national patterns, then cover major omitted features such as Australian hydropower and French coal and oil in 2000.
Coherence and Cohesion
The country-by-country paragraphing creates clear progression, although a few links and references are imprecise or slightly mechanical.
Use contrast markers only where the relationship is genuinely contrasting and make pronoun references unambiguous.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but awkward choices such as "fall on the usages" reduce precision and naturalness.
Use more accurate chart collocations, such as "a fall in the use of" and "accounted for a small proportion".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the data clearly, despite recurring errors in tense, agreement, articles, and punctuation.
Proofread verb tense and agreement carefully, especially when shifting between the 1980 and 2000 data.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.