The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Units of electricity by fuel source in Australia Units of electricity by fuel source in France
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the total production of electricity measured in units and divided by different sources of fuel in Australia and France in the year 1980 and 2000.
Overall, it is clearly shown that major fuel sources used in electricity production were different in Australia and France.
First of all, there were considerably more units of electricity produced in Australia in 2000 (170 units) than 1980 (100 units). The majority of electricity produced in Australia in both years was from the coal, but there was a higher dependency of coal in the production of electricity in 2000 than 1980 (130 out of 170 and half of the total respectively). There was an increase of 16 units of electricity produced by hydropower from 1980 to 2000 whereas the other sources like natural gas and oil contributed less to the electricity production in 2000 than in 1980.
Turning to the fuel sources in France, it is apparent that electricity production doubled in 2000 than in 1980, which was 180 for the former and 90 for the latter. The most striking feature is that there was only 15 out of 90 units of electricity produced by nuclear power in 1980. However, it became the main fuel source of electricity production in France in 2000, which was 70%. Not forgetting to mention that the use of other fuel sources in the electricity production became less in 2000 than in 1980.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe chart breakdown Original: divided by different sources of fuel Suggested revision: broken down by fuel source Why it matters: This phrase more accurately describes how the charts categorise electricity production.
- 2. Use plural years Original: in the year 1980 and 2000 Suggested revision: in 1980 and 2000 Why it matters: Two separate years are listed, so the singular phrase in the year is unsuitable.
- 3. Name the visual Original: it is clearly shown that Suggested revision: the charts show that Why it matters: Naming the charts removes the vague passive construction.
- 4. Use precise term Original: major fuel sources used Suggested revision: the dominant fuel sources Why it matters: Dominant directly identifies the sources contributing the most electricity.
- 5. Use informative transition Original: First of all Suggested revision: In Australia Why it matters: The replacement signals the country being discussed rather than using a generic sequence marker.
- 6. Complete the comparison Original: in 2000 (170 units) than 1980 (100 units) Suggested revision: in 2000 (170 units) than in 1980 (100 units) Why it matters: The preposition in is required before the second year in this comparison.
- 7. Remove the article Original: from the coal Suggested revision: from coal Why it matters: Coal is an uncountable material noun and does not take the here.
- 8. Use correct collocation Original: dependency of coal Suggested revision: dependence on coal Why it matters: Dependence on is the standard collocation for reliance on an energy source.
- 9. Add comparison preposition Original: in 2000 than 1980 Suggested revision: in 2000 than in 1980 Why it matters: The second year requires in for a grammatically parallel comparison.
- 10. State both figures Original: 130 out of 170 and half of the total respectively Suggested revision: 130 of 170 units and 50 of 100 units, respectively Why it matters: Giving both chart values makes the comparison precise and parallel.
- 11. Use concise phrasing Original: an increase of 16 units of electricity produced by hydropower Suggested revision: a 16-unit increase in electricity generated by hydropower Why it matters: This formulation expresses the change more naturally and concisely.
- 12. Limit the claim Original: the other sources like natural gas and oil Suggested revision: natural gas and oil Why it matters: Nuclear power also appears in 2000 and increased, so other sources is too broad.
Suggested Rewrites
- divided by different sources of fuel broken down by fuel source
- in the year 1980 and 2000 in 1980 and 2000
- it is clearly shown that the charts show that
- major fuel sources used the dominant fuel sources
- First of all In Australia
- in 2000 (170 units) than 1980 (100 units) in 2000 (170 units) than in 1980 (100 units)
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organised by country and accurately reports the large growth in total production, Australia's increasing reliance on coal, and France's shift to nuclear power. Its main limitation is an overgeneralised account of France's other fuels, since coal stayed at 25 units and oil rose to 25; the priority is to add these contrasts and state the main cross-country overview more specifically.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers the dominant sources and total production accurately, but its overview is vague and the claim that all other French sources declined is incorrect.
State that Australia became coal-dominated while France became nuclear-dominated, and contrast France's stable coal and rising oil figures with its falling gas and hydropower.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction, overview, and country-specific paragraphs create logical progression, with referencing and transitions generally used effectively.
Make the final French comparison a complete analytical sentence rather than adding it as a loosely attached afterthought.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for production, sources, contribution, and dependence, though several collocations and repeated phrases lack precision.
Use concise forms such as reliance on coal, electricity generated from hydropower, and total output doubled.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good mix of structures, but article errors, faulty comparative forms, and occasional fragments remain noticeable.
Revise comparisons to forms such as doubled from 90 to 180 units and use coal without the definite article when naming the fuel generally.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Units of electricity by fuel source in Australia Units of electricity by fuel source in France
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.