The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. [Figure: Transportation used in Percentages.]
Sample Response
The bar graph gives data on different transportation systems that people used in a European city in three decades- 1960, 1980 and 2000 and also compares how the habit of going to work and returning home had changed over the 40 years period. Overall, with the widespread use of cars, peoples' habit of using bikes and walking reduced noticeably. Initially, in 1960, lots of people used to commute either on foot or by a bike, 35% and roughly 27% consecutively compared to only about 7% private cars and about 20% bus usage. After 20 years, the number of car and bus users soared noticeably to 25% and to nearly 28%. The car users grew more than 3 times over 20 years and in the same year, people travelling on foot fell to less than half as it was in 1960. In 2000, only 10% work-goers walked, only about 7% people rode a bicycle compared to 18% bus users and about 38% private car users. In 1960, the majority of the people travelled to and from work on foot or using a car but the scenario became completely different after 40 years when most of the people used cars or buses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive form Original: peoples' habit Suggested revision: people's tendency Why it matters: “People” takes the possessive “people's,” and “tendency” fits the changing pattern more naturally.
- 2. Use transport verb Original: using bikes Suggested revision: cycling Why it matters: “Cycling” is the concise standard term for travelling by bicycle.
- 3. Use intransitive verb Original: reduced Suggested revision: declined Why it matters: Walking itself declines; “reduce” is normally transitive in this construction.
- 4. Use formal quantity phrase Original: lots of people Suggested revision: a large proportion of commuters Why it matters: The chart gives percentage shares, so this wording is more formal and precise.
- 5. Use transport preposition Original: by a bike Suggested revision: by bicycle Why it matters: The fixed transport expression is “by bicycle” without an article.
- 6. Match values to categories Original: consecutively Suggested revision: respectively Why it matters: “Respectively” links the two percentages to walking and cycling in the same order.
- 7. Complete percentage phrase Original: about 7% private cars Suggested revision: about 7% travelling by car Why it matters: The percentage describes commuters using a mode rather than cars themselves.
- 8. Complete mode comparison Original: about 20% bus usage Suggested revision: about 20% travelling by bus Why it matters: This creates a parallel comparison between shares of commuters.
- 9. Name measured share Original: The car users grew Suggested revision: The share of car users grew Why it matters: The chart shows a percentage growing, not the users themselves.
- 10. Use multiplier form Original: more than 3 times Suggested revision: more than threefold Why it matters: “Grew more than threefold” is the correct construction for the increase from about 7% to 25%.
- 11. Specify year clearly Original: in the same year Suggested revision: in 1980 Why it matters: The explicit year removes an ambiguous reference after a twenty-year interval.
- 12. Fix proportion comparison Original: fell to less than half as it was Suggested revision: fell to less than half its 1960 level Why it matters: The revised structure compares the later percentage directly with the earlier level.
Suggested Rewrites
- peoples' habit people's tendency
- using bikes cycling
- reduced declined
- lots of people a large proportion of commuters
- by a bike by bicycle
- consecutively respectively
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview of the shift from walking and cycling towards cars and reports nearly all figures and changes accurately across the three years. Its main limitation is the final 1960 summary, which incorrectly pairs walking with cars rather than bicycles, contradicting the earlier correct data. Prioritise checking concluding comparisons against the chart and refining recurring percentage and comparison structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main transport shift and almost all supporting values are accurate, with one incorrect final reference to cars among the dominant 1960 modes.
Ensure the final synthesis matches the detailed figures by identifying walking and cycling as the leading modes in 1960.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear chronological progression from 1960 to 2000, though the single paragraph and contradictory final sentence weaken cohesion.
Separate the overview from the yearly details and use the conclusion only if it adds an accurate synthesis.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate trend and transport vocabulary, but several awkward choices such as ‘consecutively’, ‘work-goers’, and ‘scenario’ reduce precision.
Use standard terms including ‘respectively’, ‘commuters’, ‘mode of transport’, ‘rose’, and ‘declined’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures communicate the comparisons, but recurring errors affect articles, possessives, percentage phrases, and comparative constructions.
Use forms such as ‘7% of people’, ‘less than half the 1960 figure’, and ‘over a 40-year period’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. [Figure: Transportation used in Percentages.]
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.