The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph gives information on the four types of transports used in one European city during 1960, 1980 and 2000. As evident from the chart, major changes were observed in the usage of cars and buses and cars become the most preferred transportation type in the later year.
In 1960, the maximum proportion of people travelled by bus (about 38%) compared to the 6% car owners. On the contrary, in 2000 around 37% population preferred travelling by cars, whereas only 15% bus passengers were there. The proportion of people who used tubes for transportation remained on an average between 20% to 30% during the 3 years period. It shows that tubes were popular even in later years. On the other hand, commuters who travelled by train increased from 19% in 1960 to 28% in 1980. However, the figures reduced to 22% by 2000. Cars and buses as transportations showed an opposite trend in their popularity.
To summarise, there was a tremendous rise in the usage of cars for travelling to and from the office from 1960 to 2000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable transport Original: types of transports Suggested revision: modes of transport Why it matters: Transport is normally uncountable when referring generally to travel modes.
- 2. Use year preposition Original: during Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use "in" rather than "during" with individual years.
- 3. Prefer natural noun Original: usage Suggested revision: use Why it matters: "Use" is more natural and concise in this context.
- 4. Correct past tense Original: become Suggested revision: became Why it matters: The report describes changes that occurred in past years.
- 5. Identify final year Original: later Suggested revision: final Why it matters: There are three years, so "final year" identifies 2000 unambiguously.
- 6. Natural proportion phrase Original: maximum Suggested revision: largest Why it matters: "Largest proportion" is the standard collocation for comparing percentages.
- 7. Correct group and value Original: the 6% car owners Suggested revision: the roughly 7% who travelled by car Why it matters: The graph shows commuters, not car ownership, and the 1960 figure is approximately 7%.
- 8. Use comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: This sentence contrasts two years rather than contradicting a previous claim.
- 9. Add partitive phrase Original: 37% population Suggested revision: 37% of the population Why it matters: A percentage must be linked to the population with "of the."
- 10. Use transport expression Original: cars Suggested revision: car Why it matters: The conventional expression for a mode of transport is "by car."
- 11. Clarify percentage subject Original: only 15% bus passengers were there Suggested revision: only 15% travelled by bus Why it matters: The revision states clearly what the percentage represents.
- 12. Fix range structure Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The correlative structure is "between ... and," not "between ... to."
Suggested Rewrites
- types of transports modes of transport
- during in
- usage use
- become became
- later final
- maximum largest
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report’s strongest feature is its accurate selection of the dominant shift from buses to cars, supported by mostly correct figures for the endpoints and train use. Its main limitation is imprecise language around proportions and transport categories, with recurring grammar errors; the highest-priority improvement is to compare all four modes systematically using accurate percentage expressions and controlled comparative structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview of the opposing car and bus trends and reports most major values accurately, though coverage of the intermediate year and tube pattern is limited.
Add concise comparisons for 1980 and describe the relatively stable tube figures alongside the larger car and bus changes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically organised into an introduction, detailed comparisons, and a summary, with clear overall progression.
Group the opposing car and bus trends together, then compare the steadier train and tube categories in a separate sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for trends and comparison, but phrases such as “types of transports,” “37% population,” and “transportations” are imprecise.
Use standard expressions such as “modes of transport,” “37% of commuters,” and “the proportion travelling by car.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures conveys the comparisons, although tense, agreement, article, and countability errors recur.
Proofread verb tense and noun forms, especially changing “cars become” to “cars became” and treating “transport” as uncountable.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Your response
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