The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Fish and Meat consumption
Sample Response
The supplied graph demonstrates fish and meat intake in a European country over a quarter-century, between 1979 and 2004. In general, fish and several kinds of meat consumption per person per week outlined a decrease, however, chicken intake showed a rise.
Looking at the detail, fish was the least consumed over the year observed and remained the lowest among other meat items. Fish started about 60 grammes per person in 1979 and slightly decreased to less than 50 grammes per week in 2004. The same trend was true for lamb and beef consumption which was about 150 grammes and 210 grammes respectively in 1979 and gradually spiked to about 70 grammes and 130 grammes per person per week in 2004 respectively. Although there were some fluctuations and beef was the most favourable meat in 1979, they ended up with a decline in 2004.
On the other hand, chicken intake obviously pointed out an increase. It significantly swelled from about 140 grammes in 1979 to about 240 grammes per person in 2004. It accounted for about 100 grammes improved during the period observed.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural signpost Original: detail Suggested revision: details Why it matters: The plural expression is the natural form when introducing several data points.
- 2. Refer to period Original: year Suggested revision: period Why it matters: The graph covers twenty-five years, so “period” is required rather than singular “year”.
- 3. Clarify comparison set Original: lowest among other meat items Suggested revision: lowest of the four food types Why it matters: Fish is being compared with all four plotted categories, not only with unspecified other meat items.
- 4. Complete the unit Original: per person in 1979 Suggested revision: per person per week in 1979 Why it matters: The vertical axis measures weekly consumption, so the time unit must be included.
- 5. Describe consumption Original: most favourable meat Suggested revision: most widely consumed meat Why it matters: The graph measures quantity consumed and does not show consumer preference.
- 6. Use natural trend phrase Original: pointed out an increase Suggested revision: showed an increase Why it matters: “Showed an increase” is the natural collocation for reporting a line-chart trend.
- 7. Complete weekly unit Original: per person in 2004 Suggested revision: per person per week in 2004 Why it matters: The chart reports grams per person per week, not merely grams per person.
- 8. Remove timeframe repetition Original: over a quarter-century, between 1979 and 2004 Suggested revision: from 1979 to 2004 Why it matters: The dates already define the quarter-century, so the shorter phrasing avoids repetition.
- 9. Use measurable wording Original: fish was the least consumed Suggested revision: fish had the lowest consumption Why it matters: The chart measures consumption amounts, so the noun-led comparison is clearer.
- 10. Add starting preposition Original: Fish started about 60 grammes Suggested revision: Fish consumption started at about 60 grammes Why it matters: A numerical starting point requires “at,” and naming consumption avoids making fish the actor.
- 11. Use natural word order Original: slightly decreased Suggested revision: decreased slightly Why it matters: Placing the degree adverb after the trend verb is more natural in data reporting.
- 12. Report full final value Original: less than 50 grammes per week Suggested revision: about 40 grammes per person per week Why it matters: The line finishes at roughly 40 grammes, and the full per-person unit is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- detail details
- year period
- lowest among other meat items lowest of the four food types
- per person in 1979 per person per week in 1979
- most favourable meat most widely consumed meat
- pointed out an increase showed an increase
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report is clearly organised and identifies the central contrast: chicken consumption rose while fish, lamb, and beef declined. However, some figures are inaccurate and several awkward or contradictory expressions, such as saying beef and lamb "spiked" while describing a fall, reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to verify endpoint values and describe trends with standard, accurate language rather than forcing ambitious but unsuitable vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview captures the main trends and all four series are covered, but the final beef figure is inaccurate and some important comparisons are only briefly expressed.
Check the graph values carefully, noting that beef ends at about 110 grams, and explicitly compare chicken's rise with the sharper declines in beef and lamb.
Coherence and Cohesion
Three focused paragraphs create a clear overall progression, although some references and transitions within the detail paragraphs are mechanical or unclear.
Link related trends through direct comparisons and replace vague references such as "they" with the specific food categories concerned.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but frequent collocational problems such as "outlined a decrease," "gradually spiked," and "100 grammes improved" reduce precision.
Prefer accurate combinations such as "declined gradually," "rose steadily," and "increased by about 100 grams".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, clause linking, articles, and complementation limit grammatical control.
Review sentence boundaries and verb patterns, especially structures such as "started at," "fell to," and "increased by," while keeping subjects and comparisons explicit.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Fish and Meat consumption
Your response
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