The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Fish and Meat consumption
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the fish and meat consumptions by the people of a European country from 1979 to 2004. As is presented in the graph, the consumption of chicken increased over time while meats of different types were more preferred by people in the given European country than the fishes. According to the graph, more than 200 grammes of beef was consumed daily by each person initially in 1979. In this year, each person on an average ate 150 grammes of chicken and lambs while the consumption was just over 50 grammes in this year. Over time people preferred chicken and the consumption kept on increasing and reached to over 250 grammes per day by each person. The consumption of beef, lamb decreased over time and finally, in 2004, the average consumption of these two meat types decreased to around 100 grammes per person in a day. The fish consumption remained almost the same throughout the years and slightly decreased over time.
In summary, people started consuming more chicken than beef and lamb and the fish consumption remained almost the same.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: fish and meat consumptions Suggested revision: consumption of fish and meat Why it matters: “Consumption” is uncountable when referring generally to the quantities eaten.
- 2. Use natural preposition Original: by the people of Suggested revision: by people in Why it matters: “People in a country” is the natural construction for location.
- 3. Use concise reporting Original: As is presented Suggested revision: As shown Why it matters: “As shown” is a more concise and natural graph-reporting phrase.
- 4. Use mass noun Original: meats of different types Suggested revision: the three types of meat Why it matters: Use “meat” as a mass noun when referring to the three categories collectively.
- 5. Remove double comparison Original: more preferred Suggested revision: preferred Why it matters: “Prefer” already expresses comparison, so “more” is redundant here.
- 6. Use mass noun Original: the fishes Suggested revision: fish Why it matters: Use the mass noun “fish” when referring to food consumption.
- 7. Avoid repetition Original: given European country Suggested revision: country Why it matters: The country has already been identified, so repeating “given European” is unnecessary.
- 8. Correct measurement unit Original: daily by each person Suggested revision: per person per week Why it matters: The graph measures grams per person per week, not daily consumption.
- 9. Use concise reference Original: In this year, each Suggested revision: That year, each Why it matters: “That year” refers back to 1979 more concisely.
- 10. Use standard phrase Original: on an average Suggested revision: on average Why it matters: The standard expression is “on average” without an article.
- 11. Correct noun and comma Original: lambs while Suggested revision: lamb, while Why it matters: Use the uncountable food noun “lamb” and add a comma before the contrasting clause.
- 12. Name the series Original: the Suggested revision: fish Why it matters: Naming fish removes the unclear reference to “the consumption.”
Suggested Rewrites
- fish and meat consumptions consumption of fish and meat
- by the people of by people in
- As is presented As shown
- meats of different types the three types of meat
- more preferred preferred
- the fishes fish
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear identification of chicken’s rise, the decline in beef and lamb, and the relative stability of fish. However, the repeated use of daily rather than weekly units and the inaccurate grouping of beef and lamb at about 100 grams weaken data accuracy; prioritize preserving the chart’s units and distinguishing each series’ 2004 endpoint.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the major trends, but the unit is repeatedly misstated and some final values are inaccurately combined.
Report grams per person per week and distinguish the 2004 figures of about 110 grams for beef and 70 for lamb.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical introduction-overview-detail sequence, though the final summary repeats rather than extends the earlier overview.
Use the final paragraph for a concise comparison of endpoints instead of restating the same trends.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing change, but inaccurate plural forms and repetitive use of “consumption” limit flexibility and precision.
Use uncountable forms such as “meat,” “fish,” and “lamb,” and vary phrasing with “intake” or “amount consumed.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but agreement, article, preposition, and punctuation errors are noticeable throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and remove unnecessary prepositions in forms such as “reached over 250 grams.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Fish and Meat consumption
Your response
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