The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Sample Response
The diagram compares the visitors’ number to three museums in London between 2007 and 2012. Overall, National Gallery, despite its least popularity in early years, managed to become the most visited museum in London in 2012. As is presented in the diagram, Victoria and Albert Museum received the highest number of visitants in 2007, roughly 13 million. At that time, National Gallery and the British Museum received 6 and 12 million spectators respectively. During next two years, Victoria and Albert Museum enjoyed its first position in terms of visitors’ number, but it was a close tie with the National Gallery in 2009. This year all three museums were visited by the least number of people, around 8 million to National Gallery and Victoria and Albert Museum and only 6 million to the British Museum. The highest number of people (approximately 11.5 million) visited the National Gallery in 2010 and other two museums attracted 6-7 million fans. In 2012, National Gallery became the most popular museum in London with roughly 16 million observers. The British Museum in this year sold tickets to nearly 14 million people and the least visitants preferred the Victoria and Albert Museum during this time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural quantity phrase Original: visitors’ number to Suggested revision: number of visitors to Why it matters: “Number of visitors” is the standard countable-noun construction.
- 2. Add article Original: Overall, National Gallery Suggested revision: Overall, the National Gallery Why it matters: The museum's name requires the definite article in running text.
- 3. Describe attendance Original: least popularity Suggested revision: lowest attendance Why it matters: The chart measures visitor numbers, so “attendance” is more precise than popularity.
- 4. Add definite article Original: in early years Suggested revision: in the early years Why it matters: The specified early years of the chart require “the.”
- 5. Use visitor term Original: visitants Suggested revision: visitors Why it matters: “Visitors” is the natural term for people attending a museum.
- 6. Use museum visitor Original: spectators Suggested revision: visitors Why it matters: “Spectators” normally watch an event, whereas museums receive visitors.
- 7. Add article Original: During next two years Suggested revision: During the next two years Why it matters: The definite sequence of years requires “the.”
- 8. Natural ranking phrase Original: enjoyed its first position Suggested revision: retained first place Why it matters: “Retained first place” naturally describes remaining the most visited museum.
- 9. Use plural measure Original: terms of visitors’ number Suggested revision: terms of visitor numbers Why it matters: The comparison concerns visitor totals across museums.
- 10. Name reference year Original: This year all three Suggested revision: In 2009, all three Why it matters: Naming the year removes any ambiguity in the temporal reference.
- 11. Add definite article Original: other two museums Suggested revision: the other two museums Why it matters: The two remaining museums are specific and require “the.”
- 12. Use visitor term Original: 6-7 million fans Suggested revision: 6–7 million visitors Why it matters: Museum attendees are visitors, not fans.
Suggested Rewrites
- visitors’ number to number of visitors to
- Overall, National Gallery Overall, the National Gallery
- least popularity lowest attendance
- in early years in the early years
- visitants visitors
- spectators visitors
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response follows a broadly clear chronology and accurately reports several major values, especially the National Gallery's rise to first place by 2012. However, it omits 2011 and incorrectly suggests that every museum reached its lowest attendance in 2009; strained synonyms for visitors also reduce precision. Prioritise including the missing year and identifying each museum's actual low point before refining the language for visitor numbers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main rise of the National Gallery and several yearly comparisons are reported, but 2011 is omitted and the claim that all three museums were lowest in 2009 is inaccurate.
Cover 2011 and distinguish the actual lows: the National Gallery in 2007, the Victoria and Albert Museum in 2010, and the British Museum in 2008-2009.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression is generally easy to follow, though the single-paragraph format and abrupt year references make the report less clearly structured.
Separate the overview from two chronological detail paragraphs and use explicit year-based links rather than repeated phrases such as "this year."
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend language, but repeated substitutes such as "visitants," "spectators," "fans" and "observers" are inappropriate for museum attendance.
Use the precise terms "visitors," "visitor numbers," "attendance" and "attracted" consistently throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence types conveys the main message, but article omissions, malformed noun phrases and awkward clause structures recur.
Revise phrases such as "the number of visitors," "during the next two years" and "the other two museums," and include "the" before museum names where required.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.