The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Sample Response
The illustration depicts the number of visitors in three London museums namely - National Gallery, Victoria and Albert Museum and British Museum, over half of a decade, between 2007 and 2012. It is apparent that a higher number of people visited the Victoria and Albert Museum in 2007 but in 2012 the National Museum became the most attended Museum. As is presented, 12.5, 14 and 6 million visitors enjoyed the British, Victoria and Albert and National Gallery museums consequently in 2007. The spectators' number in the Victoria and Albert Museum remained almost the same next year but the fans of British Museum plunged remarkably. On the contrary, the number of people who preferred to visit the National Museum kept on growing steadily. This growth for the National Gallery continued each year and it became the most attended museum in 2012 with around 17 million visitants. The spectator’s numbers for the Victoria and Albert Museum oscillated during these years and after a huge fall in 2010, the number of its visitors swelled up monotonously and reached to 10 million in the final year. The trend of the visitors in the British Museum was somewhat similar to the Victoria and Albert museum’s visitors which ended being the second most popular museum in 2012 with around 14 million guests.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct preposition Original: visitors in three London museums Suggested revision: visitors to three London museums Why it matters: Visitors takes to when identifying a destination.
- 2. Remove stray hyphen Original: namely - Suggested revision: namely Why it matters: No hyphen is needed between namely and the list it introduces.
- 3. State period precisely Original: over half of a decade Suggested revision: over six years Why it matters: The chart covers six calendar years from 2007 through 2012.
- 4. Correct museum name Original: in 2012 the National Museum Suggested revision: by 2012 the National Gallery Why it matters: The visual labels this series as the National Gallery, not the National Museum.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: most attended Museum Suggested revision: most visited museum Why it matters: Most visited is the natural expression for a museum with the highest attendance.
- 6. Correct opening values Original: 12.5, 14 and 6 million Suggested revision: about 12, 13.5 and 6 million Why it matters: These are the approximate 2007 values for the British Museum, Victoria and Albert Museum, and National Gallery.
- 7. Use list marker Original: consequently Suggested revision: respectively Why it matters: Respectively links the three numbers to the three museums in the stated order.
- 8. Use chart terminology Original: spectators' number Suggested revision: number of visitors Why it matters: Museum attendees are visitors rather than spectators.
- 9. Use precise noun Original: fans of British Museum Suggested revision: visitors to the British Museum Why it matters: Fans does not accurately describe the people counted by the chart.
- 10. Use natural trend phrase Original: plunged remarkably Suggested revision: fell sharply Why it matters: Fell sharply is the standard concise phrase for a steep decline.
- 11. Use contrast linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast compares different trends without contradicting a previous claim.
- 12. Correct name and meaning Original: preferred to visit the National Museum Suggested revision: visited the National Gallery Why it matters: The chart measures actual visitors to the National Gallery, not preferences for a National Museum.
Suggested Rewrites
- visitors in three London museums visitors to three London museums
- namely - namely
- over half of a decade over six years
- in 2012 the National Museum by 2012 the National Gallery
- most attended Museum most visited museum
- 12.5, 14 and 6 million about 12, 13.5 and 6 million
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview and tracks the major changes for all three museums with well-chosen start and end figures. Its main weakness is precision: the National Gallery is repeatedly misnamed and its rise is described as continuous despite a plateau, while several visitor-related word choices sound unnatural. Prioritise exact labels and trend descriptions, then replace forced synonyms with standard chart-reporting vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting figures capture the principal rankings and fluctuations, with only minor naming and trend inaccuracies.
Use 'National Gallery' consistently and acknowledge that its visitor total levelled off between 2010 and 2011.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses clearly from initial values to each museum's development and final ranking, despite being presented in one block.
Divide the overview from the detailed trends and group related year-to-year movements within a dedicated body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is a wide range of trend vocabulary, but forced synonyms such as 'fans', 'visitants', and 'swelled up monotonously' reduce precision.
Prefer natural terms such as 'visitors', 'rose steadily', 'fluctuated', and 'reached' instead of repeatedly varying the noun.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, although some possessive, prepositional, and relative-clause errors occur.
Refine noun phrases and clause reference, using forms such as 'visitor numbers', 'reached 10 million', and an unambiguous final relative clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.