The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Sample Response
The given line graph shows data on the number of underground station passengers of London city from 6:00 am till 10:00 pm. As is observed from the graph, the highest number of people use the underground stations of London at 8:00 am and 6:00 pm. At 6:00 am around 100 underground passengers can be found at the stations and this number increases seamlessly until 8:00 am when the passengers' number reaches to 400. After 8:00 am the number declines steadily until 10:00 am when it reaches around 180. The number keeps fluctuating until 4:00 pm and on an average 200 passengers can be observed during this period. After 4:00 pm the passenger number increases and reaches at 380 at around 6:00 pm. After 6:00 pm, the passenger number decreases with some fluctuations until 10:00 pm. In summary, the highest number of passengers of London underground stations can be found in the stations during the office going and office leaving times in a day.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun phrase Original: underground station passengers of London city Suggested revision: passengers at London Underground stations Why it matters: The replacement states clearly what is being counted and where.
- 2. Use formal time word Original: till Suggested revision: until Why it matters: Until is more appropriate for a formal report.
- 3. Name passengers accurately Original: underground passengers Suggested revision: passengers Why it matters: Underground describes the transport system, not the people using it.
- 4. Describe the sharp rise Original: increases seamlessly Suggested revision: rises sharply Why it matters: The graph shows a steep increase from 100 to 400 rather than a seamless change.
- 5. Correct noun structure Original: passengers' number Suggested revision: number of passengers Why it matters: Number of passengers is the correct noun phrase.
- 6. Remove extra preposition Original: reaches to 400 Suggested revision: reaches 400 Why it matters: Reach takes a direct object and does not require to here.
- 7. Correct the average Original: on an average 200 passengers Suggested revision: an average of about 225 passengers Why it matters: The plotted values from 10:00 to 16:00 average approximately 225, not 200.
- 8. Remove extra preposition Original: reaches at 380 Suggested revision: reaches 380 Why it matters: Reach is followed directly by the figure.
- 9. Use direct reporting verb Original: shows data on Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: The shorter verb states the graph's function more directly.
- 10. Add introductory comma Original: At 6:00 am around 100 Suggested revision: At 6:00 am, around 100 Why it matters: A comma separates the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 11. Use direct wording Original: can be found at the stations Suggested revision: use the stations Why it matters: The direct verb avoids an unnecessarily passive description of passengers.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: The number keeps fluctuating Suggested revision: Passenger numbers fluctuate Why it matters: Repeating the measured subject makes the reference immediately clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- underground station passengers of London city passengers at London Underground stations
- till until
- underground passengers passengers
- increases seamlessly rises sharply
- passengers' number number of passengers
- reaches to 400 reaches 400
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report’s strongest feature is its accurate chronological account of the two rush-hour peaks and the major rises and falls across the day. Its main limitation is presentation: all content is compressed into one paragraph, and recurrent awkward collocations and prepositions reduce polish even though meaning remains clear. Prioritise separating the overview from the time-series details and using precise formulations for passenger numbers, changes, and clock times.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview of both peaks and accurately traces most major fluctuations with relevant figures.
Add precise values for the midday high and the 4 p.m. low instead of reducing this varied period to an average.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows the graph chronologically and links are generally clear, but the single-paragraph format and repeated ‘After’ openings make progression mechanical.
Use a separate overview and divide the detailed account into morning and later-day paragraphs with more varied sequencing.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing trends, but recurring collocational problems such as ‘increases seamlessly’, ‘reaches at’, and ‘office going’ reduce precision.
Use standard graph-reporting phrases such as ‘rose steadily’, ‘reached 380’, and ‘morning and evening rush hours’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, though errors with prepositions, possessives, articles, and noun phrases recur.
Edit preposition patterns after movement verbs and use the regular noun phrase ‘the number of passengers’ consistently.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.