The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Sample Response
The line graph depicts the variation in the number of London subway passengers from 6 a.m. to 22 p.m. on a typical day. At a glance, the busiest time is 8 a.m. and 6 p.m.
To commence with, a large proportion of total people use underground railway facility at 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. which is about 400. From 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. the steep incline in the number of passengers from 100 to 400. In the next hour, it again plummets back into 175. Though there is a slight increase in the number of passengers, it remains the same that is almost 300 from 12.00 to 2.00 p.m. Then the total figure of travellers declines 100 from 300 within two hours. Interestingly, at morning (6 a.m.) and at 4 p.m. almost an equal number of people use underground transportations, which is 100. In spite of a small hike at 9 p.m., the underground system has an equal number of travellers at 20.00 and 22.00 hours.
To conclude, London underground station remains busy at office hours.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use consistent time format Original: from 6 a.m. to 22 p.m. Suggested revision: from 6:00 to 22:00 Why it matters: The 24-hour value “22” should not be combined with “p.m.”
- 2. Describe counts accurately Original: a large proportion of total people Suggested revision: the highest passenger numbers Why it matters: The graph shows absolute passenger counts rather than proportions of a total population.
- 3. Add article and natural noun Original: use underground railway facility Suggested revision: use the underground railway Why it matters: The transport system takes the definite article, and “facility” is unnecessary.
- 4. Correct the two peaks Original: which is about 400 Suggested revision: which are about 400 and 380, respectively Why it matters: The graph shows approximately 400 passengers at 08:00 and 380 at 18:00.
- 5. Correct the amount of decline Original: declines 100 from 300 Suggested revision: declines by 200 from 300 Why it matters: Passenger numbers fall from 300 at 14:00 to 100 at 16:00, a drop of 200.
- 6. Correct the time phrase Original: at morning (6 a.m.) Suggested revision: in the morning at 6 a.m. Why it matters: English uses “in the morning” and “at” before a specific clock time.
- 7. Use uncountable transport Original: transportations Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: “Transport” is uncountable when referring to the system generally.
- 8. Use formal chart language Original: a small hike at 9 p.m. Suggested revision: a slight rise at 9 p.m. Why it matters: “Rise” is the conventional formal noun for an increase in a graph.
- 9. Correct the evening values Original: an equal number of travellers at 20.00 and 22.00 hours Suggested revision: about 125 travellers at 20:00 and 140 at 22:00 Why it matters: The plotted values are different, so they should not be described as equal.
- 10. Add the article Original: London underground station remains Suggested revision: the London Underground remains Why it matters: The named transport system requires the definite article.
- 11. Use the natural phrase Original: at office hours Suggested revision: during commuting hours Why it matters: “During commuting hours” accurately describes the morning and evening peaks.
- 12. Use direct sequencing Original: To commence with Suggested revision: Initially Why it matters: The concise transition introduces the chronological description more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- from 6 a.m. to 22 p.m. from 6:00 to 22:00
- a large proportion of total people the highest passenger numbers
- use underground railway facility use the underground railway
- which is about 400 which are about 400 and 380, respectively
- declines 100 from 300 declines by 200 from 300
- at morning (6 a.m.) in the morning at 6 a.m.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the two main rush-hour peaks and follows the graph broadly in chronological order, giving the reader a workable account of the daily pattern. Its main limitation is that several figures and comparisons are imprecise, including the evening peak and the values at 20:00 and 22:00. The priority is to verify every stated number and comparison while using complete, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview identifies both major peaks, and most of the daily fluctuations are selected, but several values and comparisons are inaccurate or imprecise.
Check each reported figure against the graph and distinguish the 18:00 peak of about 380 from the 08:00 maximum of 400.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses mainly by time and uses clear paragraph boundaries, although some links are mechanical and the final conclusion adds little.
Group the morning, midday, and evening movements into a clearer sequence and remove the repetitive one-sentence conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe rises and falls, but recurring collocation problems such as “underground railway facility” and “transportations” reduce precision.
Use standard chart language such as passenger numbers, rose to, fell by, remained stable, and underground services.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms is attempted, but fragments, article errors, and faulty clause structures occur regularly while meaning remains generally clear.
Ensure every trend statement has a finite verb and check articles, prepositions, and agreement before finalising the report.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.