The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Sample Response
The graph shows the number of passengers travelling at various times in an underground station in London. As per the chart, there are 400 passengers travelling at 8.00 am and this seems to be the time that the majority of the travelling takes place. This might be because people usually go to work or children to school at this time; hence, 8.00 am has the highest number of people using the underground station. Moreover, the second highest numbers of travellers were, with a slightly less number than 8.00 am in the evening travel, at 18.00 having 390 travellers. Hence, the immediate justification would be as it is the time, people travelling back after work. However, it is noticeable that the least number of people use the underground at 4.00 pm and 6.00 am assuming it is the same type of people travelling back and forth at different times for starting work and finishing work. It is also observed that the number of people travelling (300) seems to happen frequently at different times during the day.
Overall, the time of the day that shows a high number of people using the underground station in London is at 8.00am and 6.00pm.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use station preposition Original: in an underground station in London Suggested revision: at a London Underground station Why it matters: Passengers travel at or through a station, and this wording is more natural.
- 2. Use formal reference Original: As per the chart Suggested revision: According to the graph Why it matters: This is a clearer formal reference to the visual source.
- 3. Describe the peak Original: there are 400 passengers travelling Suggested revision: passenger numbers peak at 400 Why it matters: The graph records a passenger count at a time point rather than 400 simultaneous journeys.
- 4. Use precise peak wording Original: the majority of the travelling takes place Suggested revision: the station is busiest Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and less precise than a direct description of the peak.
- 5. Restore parallel verbs Original: people usually go to work or children to school Suggested revision: people usually go to work or children go to school Why it matters: Both coordinated clauses need an explicit verb for grammatical parallelism.
- 6. Use natural explanation Original: immediate justification Suggested revision: most likely explanation Why it matters: "Immediate justification" is not a natural collocation for a possible cause.
- 7. Fix clause connector Original: as Suggested revision: that Why it matters: A content clause after "would be" is introduced by "that."
- 8. Complete the clause Original: it is the time, people travelling back after work Suggested revision: this is when people travel home after work Why it matters: The original contains a comma splice and lacks a finite verb in the second clause.
- 9. Use count superlative Original: least number of people use Suggested revision: fewest people use Why it matters: "Fewest" is the correct superlative for a countable group of people.
- 10. Use group wording Original: type Suggested revision: groups Why it matters: "Groups" is more appropriate than describing commuters as a single type.
- 11. Express timing clearly Original: for starting work and finishing work Suggested revision: as they start and finish work Why it matters: The revision provides a complete clause expressing the intended timing.
- 12. State the figure directly Original: the number of people travelling (300) Suggested revision: a passenger total of 300 Why it matters: The parenthetical figure is more clearly integrated into the sentence this way.
Suggested Rewrites
- in an underground station in London at a London Underground station
- As per the chart According to the graph
- there are 400 passengers travelling passenger numbers peak at 400
- the majority of the travelling takes place the station is busiest
- people usually go to work or children to school people usually go to work or children go to school
- immediate justification most likely explanation
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response’s strongest feature is its identification of the two rush-hour peaks and the principal low points. However, much of the report speculates about commuters’ reasons instead of describing the graph, while several fluctuations and exact values are omitted or misstated; the highest-priority improvement is to replace unsupported explanations with a chronological account of the rises, falls, peaks, and troughs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main peaks and lows are identified, but the description is selective, gives the evening peak inaccurately, and devotes substantial space to unsupported explanations.
Report the full daily pattern chronologically and use the graph’s values, including about 380 passengers at 18:00, without explaining why people travel.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an introduction and overview, but progression within the body is weakened by long, tangled sentences and repeated causal speculation.
Organise the day into morning, midday, and evening stages, using one clear sentence for each major change.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant graph vocabulary is used, but repetition and awkward choices such as “majority of the travelling” and “immediate justification” reduce precision.
Use concise trend language such as “peaked,” “fell sharply,” “recovered,” and “reached a second peak.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent problems with sentence structure, agreement, articles, and clause linking make several comparisons difficult to follow.
Write shorter complete sentences and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.