The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
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Sample Response
The line graph illustrates how many passengers use the Underground Station from 6:00 to 22:00 in a day, in London. Overall, although there is a significant variation in the number of passengers throughout the period, the highest numbers are registered at 8:00 and 18:00. As the graph indicates, at 6:00, a total of 100 people use the underground station. During the next 2 hours, there is a dramatic rise, with the numbers of travellers topping the charge at 8:00 with 400 passengers. The following 8 hours, is featured with fluctuations, and at 16:00 reaching the same level at the starting point (100 passengers). In two hours, a new substantial increase is seen accounting just below 400 passengers at 18:00. The next 4 hours is characterized by a reduction in the number, besides the discrete increase at 21:00 with just above 150 people and ending at 22:00 with roughly 150 users of the Underground Station.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify time and place Original: in a day, in London Suggested revision: on a typical day in London Why it matters: The replacement expresses the daily time frame and location naturally.
- 2. Use uncountable noun Original: there is a significant variation Suggested revision: there is significant variation Why it matters: "Variation" is used uncountably when describing the overall changing pattern.
- 3. Name the two peaks Original: the highest numbers Suggested revision: the two peaks Why it matters: The graph has two distinct high points at the stated times.
- 4. Fix number phrase Original: numbers Suggested revision: number Why it matters: A single changing total requires the singular phrase "the number".
- 5. Correct the expression Original: topping the charge Suggested revision: reaching a peak Why it matters: The original phrase is not an appropriate expression for the highest point on a graph.
- 6. Clarify time sequence Original: In two hours Suggested revision: Over the next two hours Why it matters: The replacement links the rise clearly to the preceding 16:00 figure.
- 7. Fix result structure Original: is seen accounting Suggested revision: is seen, reaching Why it matters: The participle "reaching" correctly introduces the resulting passenger level.
- 8. Name the network naturally Original: passengers use the Underground Station Suggested revision: passengers use the London Underground station Why it matters: The replacement identifies the London transport system naturally while retaining the station reference.
- 9. Use paired time form Original: from 6:00 to 22:00 Suggested revision: between 6:00 and 22:00 Why it matters: "Between" pairs naturally with "and" when stating the displayed time range.
- 10. Use natural trend verb Original: are registered Suggested revision: occur Why it matters: "Occur" describes the timing of the two peaks more naturally.
- 11. Clarify elapsed time Original: During the next 2 hours Suggested revision: Over the next two hours Why it matters: "Over" clearly presents the rise as a change across a two-hour interval.
- 12. Use active trend clause Original: there is a dramatic rise Suggested revision: the figure rises dramatically Why it matters: An active clause gives the changing figure a clear grammatical subject.
Suggested Rewrites
- in a day, in London on a typical day in London
- there is a significant variation there is significant variation
- the highest numbers the two peaks
- numbers number
- topping the charge reaching a peak
- In two hours Over the next two hours
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response highlights both daily peaks and accurately traces the major rises and falls, giving the reader a clear sense of the overall pattern. Its main limitation is that several midday changes are compressed into a vague reference to fluctuations, while awkward collocations and faulty clause structures reduce fluency. The highest priority is to group the day into clearer phases and describe each with precise, grammatically complete comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the two peaks, and the main movements are accurately reported, though the midday pattern is insufficiently detailed.
Include one or two precise comparisons for the fall after 8:00 and the gradual rise from 10:00 to 14:00.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows the timeline logically, but the single dense progression and repetitive time-linking make some stages less distinct.
Separate the morning and later-day trends into clear paragraphs and use links that emphasise comparison rather than only chronology.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but several collocations, including "topping the charge" and "featured with fluctuations," are inaccurate.
Prefer established graph phrases such as "reached a peak," "fluctuated," and "stood at just under 400".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but agreement errors and incomplete clause attachments recur in the later sentences.
Rewrite each trend sentence around a clear subject and finite verb, checking agreement in phrases such as "the next four hours were".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.