The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Sample Response
The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 and the amount of research funding allotted to each of those diseases. It can be clearly seen that the amount of research funding in many cases did not correlate with the seriousness of the disease in terms of numbers of deaths. In 1990, about 0.2 million people died from AIDS, 0.1 million from leprosy and 0.3 million from tropical diseases. The death count in this year in Someland was 0.5 million from diarrhoea, 0.4 million from malaria and 1.8 million deaths from TB. These figures can be contrasted with the amount of funding allocated for each disease. In 1990, 180 million dollars were used for researching ailments for AIDS, which was the highest amount. This year 80 million was spent for leprosy research, 79 million for tropical diseases, 60 million for diarrhoea. Somelander authority spent 50 million dollars for malaria research and allowed TB research 20 million dollars, the lowest amount in researching diseases. In summary, it is clear that funding allocation for disease research in Someland is not wholly determined by the number of deaths for which each disease is responsible in a given year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular number Original: numbers of deaths Suggested revision: the number of deaths Why it matters: A single aggregate measure takes the singular expression 'the number of deaths'.
- 2. Correct AIDS funding Original: 180 million dollars Suggested revision: about 175 million dollars Why it matters: The funding chart places AIDS research at approximately 175 million dollars.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: researching ailments for AIDS Suggested revision: AIDS research Why it matters: 'AIDS research' expresses the intended meaning accurately and concisely.
- 4. Correct authority phrase Original: Somelander authority Suggested revision: The Someland authorities Why it matters: The phrase needs an article and the conventional plural noun for the governing body.
- 5. Correct TB allocation Original: allowed TB research 20 million dollars Suggested revision: allocated 25 million dollars to TB research Why it matters: The chart shows approximately 25 million dollars for TB research, and 'allocated ... to' is the correct construction.
- 6. Improve allocation wording Original: the lowest amount in researching diseases Suggested revision: the lowest research allocation Why it matters: This concise noun phrase expresses the comparison more naturally.
- 7. Name the visuals precisely Original: The graphs Suggested revision: The bar charts Why it matters: Both visuals are bar charts, so the more specific label improves precision.
- 8. Improve funding collocation Original: allotted to each of those diseases Suggested revision: allocated to research on each disease Why it matters: Funding is more naturally described as being allocated to research on a disease.
- 9. Signal the overview directly Original: It can be clearly seen that Suggested revision: Overall, Why it matters: The concise overview marker removes unnecessary reader-directed phrasing.
- 10. Use direct contrast Original: These figures can be contrasted with Suggested revision: These figures contrast with Why it matters: The active construction expresses the comparison more directly.
- 11. Improve allocation phrase Original: funding allocated for each disease Suggested revision: funding allocated to research on each disease Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the money supports research rather than the diseases themselves.
- 12. Use chart language Original: which was the highest amount Suggested revision: the highest figure shown Why it matters: 'Figure' is more precise than repeating the general word 'amount'.
Suggested Rewrites
- numbers of deaths the number of deaths
- 180 million dollars about 175 million dollars
- researching ailments for AIDS AIDS research
- Somelander authority The Someland authorities
- allowed TB research 20 million dollars allocated 25 million dollars to TB research
- the lowest amount in researching diseases the lowest research allocation
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear central comparison between research funding and mortality, supports it with figures for every disease, and uses generally effective academic language. Its main weakness is uneven precision in several funding figures, alongside awkward collocations and sentence construction in the final detail section. Prioritise accurate approximations from the scales and express each funding comparison in a clean, complete sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and covers all six diseases across both charts, with only minor imprecision in several approximate funding values.
Read the funding scale more consistently and signal approximate values explicitly where bars do not align exactly with labelled intervals.
Coherence and Cohesion
The comparison develops in a sensible order from deaths to funding, but the single paragraph and repeated overview at the end limit the clarity of the organisation.
Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, grouping the strongest funding-versus-death contrasts rather than listing each disease in sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a useful range of topic vocabulary, although several collocations such as researching ailments for AIDS and allowed TB research sound unnatural.
Prefer standard combinations such as funding for AIDS research, spending on research, and allocating funds to TB research.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response includes varied complex structures and is generally clear, but article omissions, compressed list structures, and awkward verb patterns recur in the funding section.
Write each funding comparison as a complete clause and check articles, subjects, and verb complements during revision.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the Medical research funding amount in millions of Dollars in Someland and also shows the death number for this area.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.