The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Sample Response
The charts depict why students at different ages study and also give information about the support (time off or financial aid) they received from their employers. Overall, it is evident that young people (under 40 years) study because of their career prospects while the majority of older people study because of their interest. With regard to motivations, the majority of people under 40 years study in order to promote their career, although this attitude varies depending on the age of polled people. To start with, 80% students under 26 years express that they study because of career preparation while just 10% study for interest in subjects. In older cohorts, 70% of 26-29 years old students and 58% of 30-39 years old students, say that career plays an important role, while in the group of 40-49, career and interest are similarly important. People over 49 mainly study because of interest (70%). Regarding support they received from offices, approximately 62% of interviewees under 26 years said that they got support from their employers whereas the majority of students being older than 25 did not receive much help from their companies.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Simplify age expression Original: young people (under 40 years) Suggested revision: students under 40 Why it matters: Age after 'under' does not require 'years' in this construction.
- 2. Use natural motivation phrase Original: because of their interest Suggested revision: out of interest Why it matters: 'Study out of interest' is the natural collocation for this motivation.
- 3. Correct career collocation Original: promote their career Suggested revision: advance their careers Why it matters: People advance their careers; they do not normally 'promote' a career.
- 4. Name respondents precisely Original: age of polled people Suggested revision: respondents' ages Why it matters: This concise phrase accurately identifies the surveyed students and the variable shown.
- 5. Add of after percent Original: 80% students Suggested revision: 80% of students Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires 'of.'
- 6. Correct age and tense Original: under 26 years express Suggested revision: aged under 26 reported Why it matters: The revised form describes the age group naturally and keeps reporting tense consistent.
- 7. Hyphenate age range Original: 26-29 years old students Suggested revision: students aged 26–29 Why it matters: An age range modifying a group is expressed naturally with 'students aged.'
- 8. Fix age and comma Original: 30-39 years old students, say Suggested revision: students aged 30–39 say Why it matters: The age phrase needs restructuring, and a comma must not separate the subject from its verb.
- 9. Use concise reason phrase Original: study because of their career prospects Suggested revision: study mainly for career reasons Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the motivation more directly and naturally.
- 10. Refine age group wording Original: the majority of people under 40 years Suggested revision: most students under 40 Why it matters: This removes the unnecessary age unit and names the chart population precisely.
- 11. Describe falling proportion Original: this attitude varies Suggested revision: this proportion declines Why it matters: The chart shows the percentage studying for career reasons falling steadily with age, rather than an unspecified attitude varying.
- 12. Correct study motivation Original: because of career preparation Suggested revision: for career reasons Why it matters: 'For career reasons' accurately and naturally names the category shown in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- young people (under 40 years) students under 40
- because of their interest out of interest
- promote their career advance their careers
- age of polled people respondents' ages
- 80% students 80% of students
- under 26 years express aged under 26 reported
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents the age-related shift from career motivation to personal interest clearly and supports it with several accurate percentages. Its main limitation is the employer-support chart, which receives only one figure and an overgeneralised description, leaving its fall and later recovery unexplained. The highest-priority improvement is to add a balanced overview and key comparisons for that second dataset.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The motivation chart is summarised accurately with a clear main trend, but the employer-support chart is substantially underdeveloped and its changing pattern is not captured.
Add the decline from the youngest group to ages 30–39 and the subsequent recovery among the two oldest groups, using selected figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a clear introduction-overview-detail sequence with appropriate transitions, although placing everything in one paragraph weakens the visual grouping of the two charts.
Use separate detail paragraphs for study motivations and employer support so each dataset has a distinct, balanced progression.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe age groups, motives, and proportions, but expressions such as ‘polled people’ and ‘support from offices’ are imprecise.
Prefer accurate chart language such as ‘respondents’, ‘employer support’, ‘career-related study’, and ‘study for interest’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences successfully, while recurring article, plural, age-label, and punctuation errors remain noticeable but rarely obscure meaning.
Edit quantified noun phrases and age groups carefully, for example ‘80% of students’ and ‘students aged 26–29’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.