The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Sample Response
The bar chart delineates the ratio of pupils who continue their education for the benefit of their career and from passion, based on their age groups while the line graph reveals the support those students got from their companies as a form of financial support and time off.
Overall, young students’ main focus for education is their career while it was mostly passion for elder learners. Moreover, young students below 30 years of age received more support from their employers. To illustrate, eight of ten people under 26 years old continue education for their career. Only 10% of them do it from passion. Interestingly, the higher the age, the more eager they become to study for personal interest, not for professional reasons. Seven out of ten people who are at least 50 years old study for interest. Finally, these two factors equally motivate people from 40-49 years old to further their learning. The second diagram shows that young employees who were younger than 30 years old, got more backing from their employers while the least support is expected for workers between 30 to 39 years old. However, it is interesting to notice that employers were more sympathetic to workers over 40 years old than they were to employees in their thirties.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise category Original: ratio of pupils Suggested revision: proportion of students Why it matters: The chart reports percentages of students, so this wording is more precise.
- 2. Clarify study reason Original: for the benefit of their career Suggested revision: for career development Why it matters: This compact phrase accurately describes the career-related category.
- 3. Fix tense and wording Original: it was mostly passion Suggested revision: personal interest is the main reason Why it matters: The present tense and a noun phrase are needed for this general chart description.
- 4. Use correct adjective Original: elder Suggested revision: older Why it matters: Elder is not normally used attributively for a general age group.
- 5. Fix proportion phrase Original: eight of ten people Suggested revision: eight out of ten people Why it matters: The standard expression for this proportion is eight out of ten.
- 6. Use chart terminology Original: do it from passion Suggested revision: study out of personal interest Why it matters: This wording states the measured reason for study accurately and formally.
- 7. Avoid unsupported inference Original: the more eager they become to study for personal interest Suggested revision: the higher the proportion studying for personal interest becomes Why it matters: The chart shows changing proportions, not increasing eagerness among individuals.
- 8. Fix age range Original: from 40-49 years old Suggested revision: aged 40–49 Why it matters: Aged is the correct form for describing people in a numerical age range.
- 9. Describe support directly Original: more sympathetic to workers Suggested revision: more supportive of workers Why it matters: The visual measures employer support rather than employers' feelings.
- 10. Identify chart type Original: line graph Suggested revision: second bar chart Why it matters: The employer-support graphic uses bars rather than a line.
- 11. Match support definition Original: as a form of financial support and time off Suggested revision: in the form of time off and help with fees Why it matters: This wording reproduces the two forms of employer support specified in the visual.
- 12. Add possessive determiner Original: continue education Suggested revision: continue their education Why it matters: Education needs a determiner in this construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of pupils proportion of students
- for the benefit of their career for career development
- it was mostly passion personal interest is the main reason
- elder older
- eight of ten people eight out of ten people
- do it from passion study out of personal interest
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, accurate overview of the contrasting study motivations and correctly identifies the broad pattern of employer support. Its main limitation is selective development: the study chart receives useful figures, but the employer-support chart is described without any values, and most details are crowded into one paragraph. Add representative support percentages and separate the two charts into focused detail paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate comparisons cover the principal trends, although employer-support data are not quantified.
Include representative support figures, such as about 65% for under-26s and 35% for ages 30-39, to substantiate that trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from study motives to employer support, but one long paragraph weakens the grouping of details.
Use separate detail paragraphs for the bar chart and the employer-support chart, with comparisons grouped by age.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably varied range, though choices such as “pupils,” “elder learners,” and “sympathetic” are imprecise for statistical reporting.
Prefer neutral, precise terms such as “students,” “older learners,” and “received employer support.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, despite recurring errors in tense, age expressions, and prepositions.
Check comparison structures and age ranges, using forms such as “people aged 30 to 39” and consistent present tense.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.