The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Sample Response
The diagrams outline why students from different age groups study and the support they receivereceived from their employers.
Overall, having a good career is the main reason for young people to studyreason for young to study while it is personal interest for older peoplegrown-ups. Moreover, the youngest employees receive the most supportyoung employees got more support from their employers regarding their education. According to the first bar graph, people who are under 40 years old mostly study for career purposesstudy for the career while people over 49 years mainly study for their interest. Interestingly, for the age groupInterestingly for the age group 40 to 49, the number of people who study for a career andstudy for career and the number of people who study out of interest arestudy for interest is the same. 80% of students80% students under 26 years continue their education to build a career. Seven out of ten students over 49 years old do so for their interest, rather than their career. The second bar graph shows that more than 60% of studentsmore than 60% students under 26 years old got support from their employers for their education and this supportsupports included the time off and monetary support. This percentage of support decreasedreduced as the learners' age increasedwith the increase of age of the learners, and in the 30–39 age groupat 30-39 age group, about 34% received support32% got the support from the employers. After that, the employers’ support for their employees’ education increased and reached 45%reached to 45% for the over-49 age groupover 49 year’s age group.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and accurately selects the main age-related contrasts, supported by relevant figures from both charts. Progression is logical, although the detailed discussion is compressed into one long paragraph and recurring article, agreement, and preposition errors make some phrasing awkward. The most useful improvement is to separate the two charts into focused detail paragraphs and polish comparative sentence structures while retaining the accurate data selection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected, largely accurate figures convey the opposing study motivations and the fall-then-rise pattern in employer support.
Add one comparison involving the 26–29 or 40–49 support groups to make the coverage of the second chart slightly more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to reasons for study and then employer support, with cohesive devices used effectively despite limited paragraphing.
Place the two charts in separate detail paragraphs so each trend is easier to scan and the organisation fully reflects the content.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for comparisons and education-related data, but several awkward collocations and word-form choices limit precision.
Replace phrases such as study for the career and this supports included with study for career advancement and this support included.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a useful range of simple and complex structures, though recurring article, agreement, possessive, and preposition errors remain noticeable.
Proofread noun phrases and comparatives, especially 80% of students, this support included, increased with age, and reached 45%.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.