The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Sample Response
The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Overall, the process consists of several stages, beginning with sugar cane being grownsugar canes being growing and ending with the sugar being dried and cooledsugar being drying and cooling. The first stage is sugar canes growing which takesneeds 12-18 months. After that, sugar cane is harvestedsugar canes are harvested manually by farmers or mechanically using harvesting machineryby farmers or machines. Subsequently, sugar canes are converted into juiceinto the juice through crushing. Following this, the limestone filter purifies the juice, and then the juice turns into syrupthe juice becomes the syrup in the evaporator. The evaporator can heat the liquid, causing water to evaporate and turning it into syrupheat the temperature so that it provides a rational condition to transport the juice. The sixth stage is the centrifuge; thiscentrifuge, this is an important process. In this stage, sugar crystals are separated from the syrup. The sugar is produced basically. InAt the final stage, separatedwet and heated sugar crystals are dried and cooled. Finally, the sugar is produced completely acrossduring seven stages.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all seven steps of the sugar manufacturing process in a logical order and includes a clear summary overview. However, it contains speculative details about the evaporator stage that are not supported by the diagram, along with repeated grammatical errors in verb forms and participle structures. To improve, eliminate unsupported assumptions about equipment functions and refine passive verb formations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All main stages of the linear process are identified and a clear overview is provided, though an inaccurate assumption was added regarding the evaporator's purpose.
Stick strictly to the information presented in the visual diagram without adding invented explanations for how equipment works.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and step-by-step reporting follow a logical sequence using a variety of basic sequential transition words.
Separate the overview and main body details into distinct paragraphs to improve the overall presentation and structure.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate to describe the process, though reliance on prompt words and occasional awkward phrasing occurs.
Use more precise verb combinations and technical terms appropriate for process descriptions instead of informal phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While simple and complex sentence structures are attempted, frequent errors occur in participle forms, passive structures, and run-on sentences.
Focus on correcting passive voice constructions and prepositional phrases following stage-introducers.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.