The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
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Sample Response
The flow chart depicts the seven-step process of manufacturing sugar fromout of sugar cane, commencing with sugar cane cultivation and culminating in the drying and cooling of sugar crystals.
Overall, the production falls into three stages: sugar cane preparation, juice processing,juice processing and sugar formation. Sugar canes are planted and processedtreated into juice in the early stage; the juice is then refined through several steps to generate syrup, which is finally made into sugar.
In the initial stage, sugar canes grow in the field for 12-18 months before being harvested manually or with machinery. The harvested canes are then fed into athe crushing machine to produce juice.
Once the juice is extractedOnce juice is extracted, it is poured through a limestone filter to be purifiedfilled into a limestone filter and goes through purifying. After that, the purified juice is heated in an evaporator to become syrup, from which sugar crystals are separated by a centrifuge. Finally, a drying and cooling step is needed to produce the final dry sugarto convert the sugar crystals into the final product, completing the whole process.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay provides a comprehensive and accurate overview of all seven stages in the sugar manufacturing process, logically grouped into clear main phases. The response uses smooth transitions and accurate passive structures to describe sequence effectively. To refine writing further, focus on enhancing lexical precision and introducing more varied complex sentence patterns across different diagram prompts.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All seven stages of the diagram are fully covered, accurate, and supported by a clear, well-categorized overview.
Ensure high-level accuracy and detail selection are maintained when encountering more complex multi-diagram tasks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized with an clear overall structure and natural sequencing signals between steps.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid repeating basic sequence markers like 'after that' or 'then'.
Lexical Resource
Appropriate process-related vocabulary is used fluently and accurately throughout the response.
Incorporate a wider range of topic-specific verbs and precise nouns to describe mechanical operations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures and passive forms are used with a high degree of grammatical accuracy.
Experiment with advanced participle clauses to combine closely related stages even more seamlessly.