The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Sample Response
The line graphThe diagram gives some statistical information about the unemployment ratesscenario in Japan and the United States between 1993 and 1999. Generally speaking, these two countries showed contrasting trendsa contrasting trend in their unemployment ratesratio between March 1993March, 93 and March 1999March, 99. In 1993, 2.5% of Japanese people2.5% Japanese could not find a suitable job at the start of the periodwhich represents a 97.5% employment rate in this country. At that time, 7.0% of US citizens were unemployed. Over time, the unemployment rateOver the time unemployment rate in Japan gradually increased while it actually decreased in the USA. After three years, March 1996 to be exact, Japan's unemployment rate increased by about one percentage pointunemployed Japanese increased by 1.5% and the US rate decreased by about 1.5 percentage pointsdecreased by the same ratio in the USA. This pattern continues and in the Mid-98, the unemployment rates in these two countries intersected at exactly 4.5%. By March 1999Next year, the USA recorded a lower unemployment ratemanaged to arrange jobs for more unemployed citizens and thus saw this rate decrease furtherdecreased this rate further while Japan's rate roseit went higher in Japan. Interestingly, the unemployment rateratio in the USA dropped significantly while it increased in Japanwhile increased in Japan over the period. In 1999, just over 4% American's were jobless while more than 4.5% Japanese did not have a job.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly captures the contrasting overall trends and supports them with accurate starting and ending figures, so the main message is easy to understand. Its main limitation is imprecision in the middle of the period: the 1996 change in Japan is overstated, and the intersection timing and causal claim about US employment are not securely supported. The priority is to report approximate values and timings conservatively, without inventing causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The contrasting directions and endpoint values are clearly presented, but some intermediate changes, timings, and causal interpretation are inaccurate or unsupported.
Check the 1996 figures and crossover point carefully, and describe only the unemployment rates rather than proposing reasons for them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account follows a clear chronological path with effective comparisons, although presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens information grouping.
Separate the overview from a detail paragraph and group the starting values, convergence, and final positions into distinct stages.
Lexical Resource
The response has a useful range of language for trends and comparisons, but awkward collocations such as “unemployment ratio” and “arrange jobs” reduce precision.
Prefer standard terms such as “unemployment rate,” “rose to,” “fell by,” and “the two figures converged.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear through varied sentence forms, but recurring errors in articles, possessives, tense, clause subjects, and percentage constructions limit accuracy.
Use forms such as “2.5% of Japanese people,” “the rate rose,” and “just over 4% of Americans” consistently.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.