The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)

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This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?

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Sample Response

1

The bar chart provides a visual representation of the average hoursof average hours married individuals dedicate to unpaid work, namely childcare in the home, housework and gardening, per week according to the number of childrenchideren they have.

2

Overall, married women consistently devoted the greatest amount of time to doing unpaid work, while married men had the significantly fewer hours across all categorieslowest time expenditure per week.

3

In terms of married women, those with three or more children dedicated up to 60 hours per week to unpaid activities. This is followed by women with one or two children, who spent on average 51 hours per week on unpaid work. Those without childrenchildern reported the lowest time expenditure, exactlynearly 30 hours per week.

4

Turning to married men, those without children and with one or two children shared athe similar amount of unpaid worktime consumption , nearly 19 hours per week. Lastly, men with three or more children spent the least amount of time on unpaid activities, approximately 17 hours per week on average.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response presents a clear and accurate overview of the chart's main trends, supported by precise data points for all categories. Ideas are logically grouped and well connected throughout the paragraphs, making the report easy to follow. To enhance overall quality, focus on proofreading minor spelling slips and refining fixed prepositional phrases.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

Key features and data points are accurately identified and highlighted alongside a clear, effective overview paragraph.

Next step

Ensure all subtle data comparisons, such as contrasting the contrasting effects of children on men versus women, are fully highlighted.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

Information is organized logically into distinct thematic paragraphs with smooth transitions between key data groups.

Next step

Maintain consistent spacing around punctuation marks to ensure polished layout presentation.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A good variety of task-appropriate vocabulary is used naturally, though minor spelling mistakes occur.

Next step

Proofread carefully to eliminate simple typos such as 'chideren' and 'childern'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

Sentences display a good variety of complex structures with high grammatical accuracy throughout.

Next step

Refine minor word partner combinations like 'shared the similar time consumption' to 'had similar time consumption'.