The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The bar chartThe diagram provides a visual representation of Deletethe the average hours married individuals dedicate to unpaidupaid work, Deletenamely childcare in the home, housework and gardening, per week according to the number of children they havein various categories.
Overall, married womenwoman consistently devoted the greatest amount of time to doing unpaid work, while married menman had the lowest time expenditure per week.
In terms of married women, those with three or more children dedicated up to 60 hours per week to unpaid activities. This wasis followed by women with one or two childrenchildern, who spentspend on average 51 hours per week on unpaid work. Women without childrenchildern reported the lowest time expenditure, exactlynearly 30 hours per week.
Turning to married men, those without children and with one or two children spent a similar amount of timeshared the similar time consumption , nearly 19 hours per week. Lastly, men with three or more children spentspend the least amount of time on unpaid activities, approximately 17 hours per weekapproximately 17 hours per week on average.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report effectively presents the visual data with a clear overview and accurate numerical comparisons across all categories. However, language control is limited by several mechanical errors, singular/plural agreement mistakes, and minor spelling typos. Proofreading carefully for grammatical accuracy and spelling will immediately enhance overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and figures are reported accurately, accompanied by a clear summary overview.
Incorporate direct comparisons within paragraphs to highlight contrasts between gender groups more dynamically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized into distinct paragraphs with clear progression throughout.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic linking phrases like 'this is followed by' and 'turning to'.
Lexical Resource
Appropriate vocabulary is used to describe data, though minor spelling typos and word choices recur.
Review spelling for common errors like 'childern' and 'upaid' before finalizing writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical structures convey meaning clearly overall, but occasional errors in noun-verb agreement and article usage are present.
Ensure consistent pluralization when generalizing groups, such as using 'married women' instead of 'married woman'.