You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter: - ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them - ask what the prices are - ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the availability of some electrical goods that I intend to purchase. One of my colleagues recommended me your shop and I am hoping you would be able to supply those products to my home address. The items that I require are a Braun Men’s trimmer, an electronic burner, a microwave oven and a rice cooker. I live in Burneyshire, a small town near your store and would like to get purchase those from your store. I need those products before the end of July. Would you please write me back with the details of the products with prices? Please mention any discount you can offer. If the items are not in your stock, would you be able to order them from another source? Further, I would like to know how long will you be able to hold it for me? I am expecting you can hold these products till the last week of July. I am hoping to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Sameed Qureshi
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Why it matters: The salutation should stand on its own line before the opening sentence.
- 2. Fix recommend pattern Original: recommended me your shop Suggested revision: recommended your shop to me Why it matters: “Recommend” takes the thing recommended before “to” plus the recipient.
- 3. Use consistent request form Original: I am hoping you would Suggested revision: I hope you will Why it matters: The present request needs a consistent present-future construction.
- 4. Lowercase product description Original: Men’s Suggested revision: men’s Why it matters: “Men’s” is a common product description rather than part of a title here.
- 5. Use correct appliance term Original: electronic Suggested revision: electric Why it matters: An appliance powered by electricity is described as electric, not electronic.
- 6. Remove extra verb Original: would like to get purchase Suggested revision: would like to purchase Why it matters: “Get” cannot precede the base verb “purchase” in this construction.
- 7. Use formal reply phrase Original: write me back Suggested revision: write back to me Why it matters: The replacement is more natural in this formal request.
- 8. Clarify requested information Original: details of the products with prices Suggested revision: product details and prices Why it matters: The revision clearly coordinates the two kinds of information requested.
- 9. Use plural discounts Original: discount Suggested revision: discounts Why it matters: The inquiry concerns any available price reductions generally.
- 10. Use standard stock phrase Original: in your stock Suggested revision: in stock Why it matters: “In stock” is the conventional expression for available goods.
- 11. Use complete connector Original: Further Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: “Furthermore” is the standard sentence connector for adding a related request.
- 12. Fix indirect question order Original: how long will you be able Suggested revision: how long you would be able Why it matters: An indirect question uses statement word order after “I would like to know.”
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am Dear Sir or Madam, I am
- recommended me your shop recommended your shop to me
- I am hoping you would I hope you will
- Men’s men’s
- electronic electric
- would like to get purchase would like to purchase
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter achieves its practical purpose and covers availability, ordering, prices, discounts, and the requested holding period with useful product details and a suitably polite tone. Its main weakness is recurring grammatical awkwardness in requests and object references; the highest-priority improvement is to separate the questions clearly and use accurate indirect-question structures so the shop can respond to each point without ambiguity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are clearly addressed and supported with relevant details about the products and deadline, although the delivery request is not central to the task.
State the desired holding date as a direct question and keep the focus on stock, price, ordering, and collection arrangements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the item list to price, availability, ordering, and holding time, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens readability.
Use one paragraph for the requested items and availability, and another for prices, discounts, and the holding period.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is appropriate for a product enquiry, but collocations such as "recommended me your shop," "get purchase," and "details of the products with prices" are inaccurate.
Use natural phrases such as "recommended your shop to me," "purchase them," and "send me the product details and prices."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The meaning remains clear, but errors recur in verb patterns, indirect questions, pronoun agreement, and clause construction.
Write requests as "how long you would be able to hold them for me" and maintain plural reference to the listed products throughout.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter:
- ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them
- ask what the prices are
- ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.