You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter: - ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them - ask what the prices are - ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inquire about the goods I want to purchase from your store. I am looking for a digital photo frame and a crystal flower vase with electric light in it, which I saw when I visited your shop last time. I would like two purchase these items for a friend and present her on her birthday. The digital photo frame should be at least 15X12 inches and should come with at least 250 GB of internal memory. The flower vase should be made up of crystal and the twilight blue colour is my preference. It should be medium in size. Please mention the price and product specification in a return mail. Also, let me know if the products are available in your shop, or if you would be able to order those from elsewhere. I am coming to Canberra at the beginning of the next month and can come down to your place to purchase those. Would you be able to hold them till then? I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Namrata Jain
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal wording Original: goods I want to purchase Suggested revision: items I would like to purchase Why it matters: This phrasing is more suitably polite for a formal enquiry.
- 2. Add article Original: with electric light in it Suggested revision: with an electric light Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article here.
- 3. Correct homophone Original: two Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The infinitive marker is 'to', while 'two' is a number.
- 4. Complete verb pattern Original: present her Suggested revision: give them to her Why it matters: The original verb pattern omits the items being given and is ungrammatical in this context.
- 5. Format dimensions clearly Original: 15X12 Suggested revision: 15 × 12 Why it matters: The multiplication sign and spacing make the requested dimensions easier to read.
- 6. Use natural pronoun Original: those Suggested revision: them Why it matters: Use 'them' to refer naturally to the two previously identified products.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: at the beginning of the next month Suggested revision: at the beginning of next month Why it matters: The fixed future-time expression is 'next month' without an article.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The flower vase should be made up of crystal and the twilight blue colour is my preference. Suggested revision: The flower vase should be made of crystal, preferably in twilight blue. Why it matters: The rewrite uses the natural material collocation and expresses the colour preference concisely.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Please mention the price and product specification in a return mail. Suggested revision: Please provide the prices and product specifications in your reply. Why it matters: The plural forms match the two requested products and make the price enquiry explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- goods I want to purchase items I would like to purchase
- with electric light in it with an electric light
- two to
- present her give them to her
- 15X12 15 × 12
- those them
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a clear purpose, maintains a suitable formal tone, and answers each request with useful product and collection details. Its main limitation is that the body is compressed into one paragraph and contains several conspicuous wording errors, despite remaining easy to understand. The highest priority is to separate the requests logically and proofread key verb forms and object patterns for a more polished message.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fulfilled directly, with clear descriptions of the goods, a request for prices and availability, and a specified holding period until the next visit.
Make the holding request even more precise by giving the exact collection date rather than referring only to the beginning of next month.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a clear sequence from product identification to availability, price, and collection, but the single body paragraph limits visible grouping.
Use separate paragraphs for product specifications and for the availability, price, and holding questions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and specific for the transaction, though two purchase, present her, return mail, and purchase those reduce lexical precision.
Proofread word forms and collocations, replacing these with to purchase, present them to her, reply, and purchase them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses several accurate complex sentences and polite question forms, with occasional errors in infinitives, pronoun patterns, and phrasing.
Check small grammatical words and verb complements carefully, especially to versus two and the pattern present something to someone.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter:
- ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them
- ask what the prices are
- ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.