You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter: - ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them - ask what the prices are - ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inquire about the availability of some goods that I need to purchase soon. I have visited your store a few months ago and was impressed with your product catalogue. I am hoping you would be able to supply those products or order them for me from another source. I need an LG microwave oven, a Breville Smart Toaster, a 42 inch Sony Smart TV and a fully automatic washing machine. Kindly let me know if you have these electronic appliances ready to be shipped. In case, if you do not have any or all of these, would it be possible for you to order them on my behalf? I would really appreciate it if you can recommend a good brand for the washing machine along with the price and specification of each item. Moreover, please inform me for how long you can hold those items for me as I will be out of town for a few days on a business trip. I would be much obliged if you can hold these items till the end of November. Expecting a reply from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Afzal
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use simple past Original: I have visited your store a few months ago Suggested revision: I visited your store a few months ago Why it matters: A finished time expression such as “a few months ago” requires the simple past.
- 2. Correct tense and modal Original: I am hoping you would be able Suggested revision: I hope you will be able Why it matters: This form correctly expresses a present hope about the shop’s future action.
- 3. Hyphenate the measurement Original: 42 inch Sony Smart TV Suggested revision: 42-inch Sony Smart TV Why it matters: A compound measurement before a noun should be hyphenated.
- 4. Use the task term Original: electronic Suggested revision: electrical Why it matters: “Electrical appliances” accurately covers all the listed household goods.
- 5. Remove double conjunction Original: In case, if Suggested revision: If Why it matters: Only one conditional conjunction is needed to introduce this clause.
- 6. Use polite conditional Original: can Suggested revision: could Why it matters: “Could” agrees with “would appreciate” in this polite formal request.
- 7. Use plural nouns Original: the price and specification of each item Suggested revision: the prices and specifications of each item Why it matters: Each of several items has its own price and specifications, so plural forms are clearer.
- 8. Match the polite form Original: can Suggested revision: could Why it matters: “Could” correctly completes the polite conditional structure begun with “would be”.
- 9. Remove redundant wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: In a letter, the words “this letter” are unnecessary.
- 10. Name the goods directly Original: some goods that I need to purchase soon Suggested revision: the electrical goods I wish to purchase Why it matters: This is more specific and concise for a formal enquiry.
- 11. Use a consistent reference Original: those products Suggested revision: these items Why it matters: “These items” refers more directly to the goods being requested.
- 12. Use precise wording Original: from another source Suggested revision: from a supplier Why it matters: A shop would normally order unavailable goods from a supplier.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have visited your store a few months ago I visited your store a few months ago
- I am hoping you would be able I hope you will be able
- 42 inch Sony Smart TV 42-inch Sony Smart TV
- electronic electrical
- In case, if If
- can could
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully covers availability, ordering, prices and the requested holding period in a courteous formal register, supported by a clear list of products and a practical reason for the delay. Its main limitation is grammatical consistency, especially tense and conditional forms, together with the dense single-paragraph presentation. Prioritise using past simple for the previous visit and polite could or would forms throughout, then paragraph the requests by purpose.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, every bullet point is fully covered, and the requested products and holding period are specified appropriately.
Clarify whether the goods should merely be reserved for collection or shipped, since both possibilities are currently implied.
Coherence and Cohesion
The requests progress logically from availability to ordering, pricing and reservation, although the response is presented as one long paragraph.
Group the opening and product list, the availability and price questions, and the holding request into three short paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is appropriately formal and sufficiently varied, with a few imprecise phrases such as "ready to be shipped" and "price and specification."
Use precise retail language such as "in stock," "unit price," "specifications" and "reserve the items for collection."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but tense and conditional errors recur alongside the fragment "Expecting a reply from you soon."
Write "I visited your store," use consistent polite forms such as "could" and "would," and close with the complete sentence "I look forward to your reply."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter:
- ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them
- ask what the prices are
- ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.