You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter: - ask about available dates - ask what services the venue provides - ask about the costs
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about your exclusive seminar hall that we are planning to reserve for an official event. We are expecting a few additional amenities in order to accommodate the event without any intervention and to make it a success. We will organise the annual get-together party and I would like to know the availability of your seminar hall during the second week of next March. Our agenda will be a staff meet-up followed by an hour-long presentation and it would conclude with a grand dinner party. We would require a high-resolution LCD projector and a Wi-Fi connection facility for Laptops. The seating arrangement is expected to be for almost 100 people. We also require facilities for welcome drinks for guests and dinner for all of them. I am curious to know about the rates to hire the hall for 6 hours, from 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm, with the list of facilities it offers. Additionally, please send me the menu for dinner including drinks. Also, mention the best possible concession you can offer and break down the expected expenses. We will not compromise the hygienic and food quality and we are expecting the party to be organised without any glaring issue from your end. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mohammed Abu
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unclear adjective Original: exclusive seminar hall Suggested revision: seminar hall Why it matters: Exclusive does not add a clear or necessary meaning in this enquiry.
- 2. Use intended meaning Original: without any intervention Suggested revision: without disruption Why it matters: Intervention does not express the intended idea of the event proceeding smoothly.
- 3. Avoid redundant wording Original: annual get-together party Suggested revision: annual staff get-together Why it matters: Get-together already denotes a social event, so party is redundant.
- 4. Keep future tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Will is needed to match the stated future agenda.
- 5. Remove redundant noun Original: Wi-Fi connection facility Suggested revision: Wi-Fi connection Why it matters: Facility is unnecessary because Wi-Fi connection already names the required service.
- 6. Use lowercase noun Original: Laptops Suggested revision: laptops Why it matters: This common noun should not be capitalised mid-sentence.
- 7. Use direct phrasing Original: facilities for welcome drinks Suggested revision: welcome drinks Why it matters: The venue would provide the drinks themselves rather than facilities for them.
- 8. Clarify linked request Original: with the list of facilities it offers Suggested revision: along with a list of the facilities offered Why it matters: Along with clearly connects the requested price and facilities list.
- 9. Match enquiry status Original: that we are planning to reserve Suggested revision: which we are considering reserving Why it matters: The revised phrase reflects that the venue is still being considered rather than already selected.
- 10. Clarify amenities purpose Original: amenities in order to accommodate the event Suggested revision: amenities needed for the event Why it matters: Amenities support an event rather than accommodate it.
- 11. Use professional wording Original: a grand dinner party Suggested revision: a formal dinner Why it matters: A formal dinner suits the stated executive event more precisely.
- 12. Use correct construction Original: rates to hire the hall Suggested revision: rate for hiring the hall Why it matters: Rate for hiring is the natural grammatical construction for this price request.
Suggested Rewrites
- exclusive seminar hall seminar hall
- without any intervention without disruption
- annual get-together party annual staff get-together
- would will
- Wi-Fi connection facility Wi-Fi connection
- Laptops laptops
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates its purpose clearly and gives detailed, practical requirements concerning the date, venue services, catering, equipment, and costs. Its main limitation is imprecise or unnatural wording, and the demanding final sentence slightly undermines the otherwise suitable professional tone; the single-block structure also makes the dense content harder to scan. The highest priority is to group the requests into paragraphs and replace strained expressions with concise, courteous business language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are developed with specific details, but the forceful comments about quality and issues make the register less consistently courteous.
Rephrase the final expectations as a polite request for information about hygiene and service standards.
Coherence and Cohesion
The requests progress logically from availability to facilities and price, although the single long paragraph limits the effectiveness of the organisation.
Divide the letter into paragraphs for the event context, required services, costs, and closing request.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a good range of event-planning vocabulary, but several combinations are awkward or imprecise, including without any intervention and hygienic and food quality.
Use natural business collocations such as run smoothly, hygiene standards, catering quality, and itemised quotation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, with a few errors in parallel structure, articles, and capitalization.
Proofread coordinated noun phrases and small form errors, especially hygiene and food quality and the unnecessary capital letter in Laptops.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter:
- ask about available dates
- ask what services the venue provides
- ask about the costs
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.