You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter: - ask about available dates - ask what services the venue provides - ask about the costs
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about your exclusive seminar hall that we are planning to reserve for an official event. We are expecting a few additional amenities in order to accommodate the event without any intervention and to make it a success. We will organise the annual get-together party and I would like to know the availability of your seminar hall during the second week of next March. Our agenda will be a staff meet-up followed by an hour-long presentation and it would conclude with a grand dinner party. We would require a high-resolution LCD projector and a Wi-Fi connection facility for Laptops. The seating arrangement is expected to be for almost 100 people. We also require facilities for welcome drinks for guests and dinner for all of them. I am curious to know about the rates to hire the hall for 6 hours, from 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm, with the list of facilities it offers. Additionally, please send me the menu for dinner including drinks. Also, mention the best possible concession you can offer and break down the expected expenses. We will not compromise the hygienic and food quality and we are expecting the party to be organised without any glaring issue from your end. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mohammed Abu
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral venue term Original: exclusive seminar hall Suggested revision: seminar hall Why it matters: Exclusive is promotional and unnecessary when identifying the venue under consideration.
- 2. Match tentative enquiry Original: planning to reserve Suggested revision: considering reserving Why it matters: The booking is not yet decided because the letter is asking about availability and costs.
- 3. Avoid duplicated event terms Original: annual get-together party Suggested revision: annual staff get-together Why it matters: Get-together already means a social event, so party is redundant.
- 4. Ask availability directly Original: the availability of your seminar hall during the second week Suggested revision: whether your seminar hall is available during the second week Why it matters: The revised clause forms a clear indirect question about dates.
- 5. Use staff meeting Original: staff meet-up Suggested revision: staff meeting Why it matters: Meeting is more professional than the informal phrase meet-up.
- 6. Match future tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Will matches the definite future agenda established earlier in the sentence.
- 7. Use Wi-Fi access Original: Wi-Fi connection facility Suggested revision: Wi-Fi access Why it matters: Wi-Fi access is the standard concise term for this service.
- 8. Use lowercase laptops Original: Laptops Suggested revision: laptops Why it matters: The common noun laptops should not be capitalised.
- 9. State seating need directly Original: The seating arrangement is expected to be for almost 100 people Suggested revision: We would need seating for approximately 100 people Why it matters: The active construction expresses the venue requirement clearly and naturally.
- 10. Request welcome drinks Original: facilities for welcome drinks Suggested revision: welcome drinks Why it matters: The drinks themselves are the service requested, so facilities for is unnecessary.
- 11. Name the guests Original: dinner for all of them Suggested revision: dinner for all guests Why it matters: The explicit noun avoids an imprecise pronoun reference.
- 12. Use formal enquiry Original: curious to know about Suggested revision: interested in knowing Why it matters: The revised phrase suits a professional request for pricing information.
Suggested Rewrites
- exclusive seminar hall seminar hall
- planning to reserve considering reserving
- annual get-together party annual staff get-together
- the availability of your seminar hall during the second week whether your seminar hall is available during the second week
- staff meet-up staff meeting
- would will
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter covers the requested date, venue services, and costs in substantial detail, and its event specifications would help the recipient prepare a useful response. However, the single-paragraph presentation, several strained collocations, and the demanding wording near the end reduce clarity and professional polish. The highest-priority improvement is to group the enquiries into clear paragraphs and recast the final requirements as courteous, idiomatic requests.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three required points are clearly covered with relevant details, although the final comments about quality and problems sound unnecessarily demanding.
Preserve the detailed requests while expressing quality expectations more courteously for a prospective venue provider.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a broadly logical sequence, but the lack of paragraphing creates a dense block and weakens the separation of enquiry topics.
Use separate paragraphs for the event and date, required services, and the request for prices and concessions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows range and communicates specific venue needs, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Replace strained phrases such as without any intervention and hygienic and food quality with natural business English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with generally clear meaning, though several article, agreement, and construction errors remain noticeable.
Review article use and sentence structure in phrases such as the hygienic and food quality and that we are planning to reserve.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter:
- ask about available dates
- ask what services the venue provides
- ask about the costs
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.