You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear Marcus, Hope you and your family are doing great. I have got admitted to the Queen Mary University of London for my MSc in Accounting and Finance. This is a full-time course and hopefully, I will fly to London next month. To support my tuition fee and get some work experience, I am planning to get a part-time job and I am hoping that you can help me find a suitable one. My class will begin on 2nd November and I will arrive in the UK on 24th October. I want to pursue a career in the financial service industry in my home country and want to take advantage of the contemporary and specialised approach to accountancy and finance that this course offers. The worlds of accountancy and finance are always changing due to the changing legal framework the financial sector operates in. This is why I have decided to enrol in this course. I plan to finish it on time and learn as much as possible. To assist in covering my tuition fee and get some job experience, I intend to do a part-time job, specifically in an accounting firm. Hope my Bsc in Accounting would be helpful for that. I hardly know anyone in the UK except you and I know that you have a wide social network in London that you can use to manage a job for me. I have forwarded my Curriculum Vitae to your email and I am expecting that you can manage a part-time job before I arrive in London. I would be indebted for your support. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care and stay fine. Best wishes, Stacy
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: support my tuition fee Suggested revision: cover my tuition fees Why it matters: The verb “cover” is the natural choice for paying tuition costs.
- 2. Choose precise noun Original: The worlds of accountancy and finance Suggested revision: The fields of accounting and finance Why it matters: “Fields” describes these professional areas more precisely than “worlds.”
- 3. Keep forms parallel Original: covering my tuition fee and get some job experience Suggested revision: covering my tuition fees and gaining some work experience Why it matters: Both coordinated purposes need parallel gerund forms after “assist in.”
- 4. Correct job collocation Original: use to manage a job for me Suggested revision: use to help me find a job Why it matters: A contact can help someone find a job, while “manage a job” has a different meaning.
- 5. Use natural wording Original: forwarded my Curriculum Vitae to your email Suggested revision: emailed you my CV Why it matters: This concise phrasing is more natural for sending a document electronically.
- 6. Soften the request Original: I am expecting that you can manage Suggested revision: I hope you can help me find Why it matters: This wording makes the request to a friend sound less demanding and uses the correct job-search collocation.
- 7. Correct the collocation Original: indebted Suggested revision: grateful Why it matters: “Grateful for” is the appropriate collocation for expressing thanks for help.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Hope you and your family are doing great. Suggested revision: I hope you and your family are doing great. Why it matters: Adding an explicit subject makes the opening a complete sentence.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I have got admitted to the Queen Mary University of London for my MSc in Accounting and Finance. Suggested revision: I have been admitted to Queen Mary University of London for an MSc in Accounting and Finance. Why it matters: The passive form and corrected article use make the sentence grammatically accurate.
- 10. Separate letter functions Suggested revision: Divide the letter into short paragraphs covering the study plans, reasons for seeking work, requested help, and closing. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three required points easier for the reader to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- support my tuition fee cover my tuition fees
- The worlds of accountancy and finance The fields of accounting and finance
- covering my tuition fee and get some job experience covering my tuition fees and gaining some work experience
- use to manage a job for me use to help me find a job
- forwarded my Curriculum Vitae to your email emailed you my CV
- I am expecting that you can manage I hope you can help me find
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully covers the study plans, reasons for seeking work, and the requested help in a clear, friendly manner, with particularly strong specific detail. Its main limitation is recurrent awkward phrasing and collocation, especially around employment and finances, which makes some sentences less natural. Prioritize more idiomatic expressions and remove repeated explanations so the request sounds smoother and more concise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the friendly register is appropriate.
Make the requested help slightly more realistic and specific by asking Marcus to share vacancies or contacts rather than to secure a job in advance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the study plan to the reasons for working and the request for help, although some ideas are repeated.
Group the study details, employment motivation, and request into distinct paragraphs and remove the repeated explanation about tuition and experience.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys precise study and career details, but several collocations are unnatural.
Replace phrases such as 'support my tuition fee' and 'manage a job for me' with natural alternatives such as 'help cover my tuition fees' and 'help me find a job'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of sentence structures is generally accurate, with occasional article, agreement, and form errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread noun forms and articles, particularly in phrases such as 'the financial services industry' and 'my BSc in Accounting'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.