You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - Give details of your study plans - Explain why you want to get a part-time job - Suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Hi Sarah!
We just spoke on the phone but it totally slipped my mind to let you know that I got accepted to the University of Melbourne and I’ll be headed to your city soon! I’m going to be studying finance and I will arrive for induction in a few months (assuming the pandemic is under control by then).
I’m writing now because I was wondering if you could look into finding part-time work for me when I get there. I’ll be living off-campus and my parents aren’t going to be able to send me money consistently – that’s why I need some work in the 20-30 hour range monthly.
If you could ask around at your school, that would be a tremendous help. Also, if you see any help wanted ads around town, it’d be great if you could snap a picture so that I could email or call. Any other ideas you have are welcome!
Thanks for your help!
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate the greeting Original: Sarah! Suggested revision: Sarah, Why it matters: A comma is the conventional punctuation after a letter greeting.
- 2. Add clause comma Original: phone but Suggested revision: phone, but Why it matters: A comma should separate the two independent clauses joined by but.
- 3. Use precise phrasing Original: I got accepted to the University of Melbourne Suggested revision: I was accepted by the University of Melbourne Why it matters: This wording states the admission result more precisely while retaining the friendly tone.
- 4. Remove distracting aside Original: (assuming the pandemic is under control by then) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This aside distracts from the relevant details of the writer's study plans.
- 5. Use present tense Original: because I was wondering Suggested revision: because I’m wondering Why it matters: The present tense fits the request being made in the letter now.
- 6. Make request direct Original: look into finding part-time work for me Suggested revision: help me find part-time work Why it matters: This concise phrase expresses the intended request more naturally.
- 7. Fix quantity phrase Original: 20-30 hour range monthly Suggested revision: 20–30 hours per month Why it matters: The plural noun and per-month expression are required for a clear monthly quantity.
- 8. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: help wanted ads Suggested revision: help-wanted ads Why it matters: The compound modifier should be hyphenated before the noun.
- 9. Specify arrival timing Suggested revision: Give the expected month or date of arrival instead of only saying ‘in a few months’. Why it matters: A specific arrival time would make the study plans more useful to the friend helping with the job search.
Suggested Rewrites
- Sarah! Sarah,
- phone but phone, but
- I got accepted to the University of Melbourne I was accepted by the University of Melbourne
- (assuming the pandemic is under control by then) Delete
- because I was wondering because I’m wondering
- look into finding part-time work for me help me find part-time work
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a confident, natural informal letter that fully covers the study plans, financial reason for working, and practical ways the friend can help. The main limitation is a small amount of imprecision, especially the unclear description of the desired monthly working hours. The best improvement would be to clarify that detail while preserving the direct, friendly tone and well-controlled sentence variety.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and relevantly developed in a consistently appropriate informal tone.
Clarify whether the desired commitment is 20 to 30 hours per month or per week so the request is completely precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a clear sequence, and paragraphs and linking devices guide the reader naturally through the request.
Keep each practical request equally concise so the final paragraph remains as focused as the earlier ones.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a wide range of natural informal expressions and precise study and employment vocabulary with only minor imprecision.
Replace the awkward phrase 20-30 hour range monthly with a more natural expression such as 20 to 30 hours per month.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation supporting the conversational tone.
Refine the working-hours sentence to use a cleaner noun phrase while maintaining the otherwise strong grammatical control.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- Give details of your study plans
- Explain why you want to get a part-time job
- Suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.