You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear Marcus, Hope you and your family are doing great. I have got admitted to the Queen Mary University of London for my MSc in Accounting and Finance. This is a full-time course and hopefully, I will fly to London next month. To support my tuition fee and get some work experience, I am planning to get a part-time job and I am hoping that you can help me find a suitable one. My class will begin on 2nd November and I will arrive in the UK on 24th October. I want to pursue a career in the financial service industry in my home country and want to take advantage of the contemporary and specialised approach to accountancy and finance that this course offers. The worlds of accountancy and finance are always changing due to the changing legal framework the financial sector operates in. This is why I have decided to enrol in this course. I plan to finish it on time and learn as much as possible. To assist in covering my tuition fee and get some job experience, I intend to do a part-time job, specifically in an accounting firm. Hope my Bsc in Accounting would be helpful for that. I hardly know anyone in the UK except you and I know that you have a wide social network in London that you can use to manage a job for me. I have forwarded my Curriculum Vitae to your email and I am expecting that you can manage a part-time job before I arrive in London. I would be indebted for your support. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care and stay fine. Best wishes, Stacy
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add sentence subject Original: Hope you and your family Suggested revision: I hope you and your family Why it matters: The opening statement requires the subject I.
- 2. Use passive admission form Original: got Suggested revision: been Why it matters: The passive construction have been admitted is required for university acceptance.
- 3. Remove incorrect article Original: to the Queen Mary University Suggested revision: to Queen Mary University Why it matters: The university's proper name does not take the definite article here.
- 4. Use natural payment phrase Original: support my tuition fee Suggested revision: help pay my tuition fees Why it matters: Pay tuition fees is the natural collocation for funding study costs.
- 5. Use precise job verb Original: get Suggested revision: find Why it matters: Find a job accurately describes the search the friend is being asked to support.
- 6. Match the course reference Original: class Suggested revision: course Why it matters: Course is the singular programme whose start date is being given.
- 7. Use standard industry term Original: service Suggested revision: services Why it matters: Financial services industry is the established sector name.
- 8. Avoid repeated want Original: want to take advantage of Suggested revision: hope to benefit from Why it matters: The replacement avoids repeating want and expresses the intended academic benefit naturally.
- 9. Remove repeated wording Original: are always changing due to the changing legal framework Suggested revision: continually evolve as the legal framework changes Why it matters: The revision removes repetition while preserving the link to regulatory change.
- 10. Use academic completion phrase Original: finish it on time Suggested revision: complete it on schedule Why it matters: Complete a course is more precise than finish it in this context.
- 11. Make purposes parallel Original: To assist in covering my tuition fee and get some job experience Suggested revision: To help cover my tuition fees and gain work experience Why it matters: The replacement uses parallel base verbs and natural collocations for both purposes.
- 12. Correct job collocation Original: do Suggested revision: take Why it matters: Take a job is the natural collocation for accepting employment.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope you and your family I hope you and your family
- got been
- to the Queen Mary University to Queen Mary University
- support my tuition fee help pay my tuition fees
- get find
- class course
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully explains the course, financial and career reasons for seeking work, and the friend's potential help, using detailed and relevant information. Its main limitations are one-block presentation and an overly demanding request that the friend secure a job before arrival, alongside several unnatural collocations. The highest priority is to organise the three purposes into paragraphs and frame the requested assistance more realistically and courteously.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are clearly developed and the friendly purpose is sustained, though the final expectation places unreasonable responsibility on the friend.
Ask Marcus to share vacancies, review the CV, or introduce relevant contacts rather than expecting him to arrange a job.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through study plans, reasons for working, and requested help, but the single paragraph weakens grouping.
Use separate paragraphs for the course, motivation for employment, and practical assistance requested.
Lexical Resource
A good range of study, finance, and employment vocabulary is used, with several awkward collocations and some repetition.
Use admitted to, tuition fees, financial services, obtain work experience, and help me find a job naturally and consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, though article, infinitive, and agreement errors remain noticeable.
Correct forms such as admitted to university, to support my fees and gain experience, and my classes will begin.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.