You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what sort of job you would like - say what experience and skills you have
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have heard about your employment agency from my friend who recently got a two-year work placement at a Japanese company, courtesy of your wonderful efforts. Not to mention, of course, after hearing the success story from my friend, I have also decided to reach you and request you find a suitable part-time job for me. To introduce myself a little, I am a Greek national and currently studying at a university as a final-year student, majoring in Accounting Information Systems, here in Montreal. My current GPA is 3.5 if it really matters. As for what sort of job I want, an office job, preferably as an Accounting Clerk or Data Entry Operator would be a very ideal one. I should also have no problem working as a part-time Office Administrator, provided that the schedules, I am offered, do not conflict with my class schedules. Now regarding my experience and skills, I have a very good typing speed, and I am very much computer literate. Besides, I am also good at multitasking, and I can speak little French, other than having a very good fluency in the English language.
I hope you would help me find a part-time job as soon as possible. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Zoe Laskari
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Moderate the praise Original: courtesy of your wonderful efforts Suggested revision: with your agency's assistance Why it matters: This wording keeps the acknowledgement professional without sounding excessively flattering.
- 2. Use formal introduction Original: To introduce myself a little Suggested revision: By way of introduction Why it matters: The revised phrase suits a professional request letter more naturally.
- 3. Streamline student status Original: currently studying at a university as a final-year student Suggested revision: currently a final-year university student Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase removes the awkward studying as construction.
- 4. Maintain professional tone Original: if it really matters Suggested revision: if this information is relevant Why it matters: The original wording sounds dismissive in a request to an employment agency.
- 5. Use professional wording Original: what sort of job I want Suggested revision: the type of work I am seeking Why it matters: Seeking is more suitable than want when describing employment preferences.
- 6. Avoid grading ideal Original: would be a very ideal one Suggested revision: would be ideal Why it matters: Ideal already expresses the strongest degree and does not take very naturally.
- 7. Fix clause structure Original: the schedules, I am offered, do not conflict Suggested revision: the schedule I am offered does not conflict Why it matters: The commas wrongly separate the restrictive clause, and the singular subject requires does.
- 8. Use singular schedule Original: schedules Suggested revision: schedule Why it matters: One student's timetable is more naturally described as a single class schedule.
- 9. Use concise transition Original: Now regarding my experience and skills Suggested revision: Regarding my experience and skills Why it matters: Removing the conversational opener creates a smoother formal transition.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: a very good typing speed Suggested revision: a fast typing speed Why it matters: Fast is the natural adjective for describing typing speed.
- 11. Correct literacy phrase Original: very much computer literate Suggested revision: highly computer-literate Why it matters: Highly is the natural degree adverb, and the compound adjective is hyphenated.
- 12. Add quantity article Original: speak little French Suggested revision: speak a little French Why it matters: A little means some ability, whereas little implies almost none.
Suggested Rewrites
- courtesy of your wonderful efforts with your agency's assistance
- To introduce myself a little By way of introduction
- currently studying at a university as a final-year student currently a final-year university student
- if it really matters if this information is relevant
- what sort of job I want the type of work I am seeking
- would be a very ideal one would be ideal
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully covers the requested personal background, job preferences, and relevant skills, and its purpose remains clear throughout. Its main limitation is a combination of weak paragraphing and several awkward or imprecise expressions, including an unnecessarily casual reference to the GPA and unnatural phrasing around language ability. Organise the body by the three prompt points and use more natural, concise professional wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are developed with relevant personal, job, and skills details.
Keep every detail professionally relevant and replace the casual comment about whether the GPA matters with a direct statement of its value.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically through the requested points, but nearly the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use separate body paragraphs for the introduction, job preferences, and experience so the progression is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows sufficient range for employment and study topics, although several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use more natural phrases such as contact you, highly computer-literate, and speak a little French.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, despite several errors in articles, punctuation, and sentence construction.
Improve control of clause punctuation and noun phrases, especially in the sentence about schedules conflicting with classes.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain what sort of job you would like
- say what experience and skills you have
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.