You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what sort of job you would like - say what experience and skills you have
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Sebastian Holmes, looking for a part-time job in a graphics designing company and would like you to forward my CV to suitable companies. I have recently finished my high school diploma and would like to gain some professional experience. One of my high school friends, who recently managed a job through your agency, has recommended me your agency. I have a graphics design diploma certificate and experience in designing website mockups. I am passionate about designing websites, banners, advertisements, landing pages and logos, and looking forward to working for a company that works in the web designing industry. Since experience and not remuneration is my priority, I would like to work for a renowned company that solely works in the web and graphics designing industry with a credible portfolio. I will get admitted to a college in a month or two, and that is why flexible office time is another aspect I am looking for. I hope you would have a look at my CV, which I am also sending to you in the same envelope, and help me find a suitable job that I am so eagerly looking forward to having. Yours faithfully, Sebastian Holmes
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the field name Original: graphics designing company Suggested revision: graphic design company Why it matters: ‘Graphic design’ is the standard noun phrase for this professional field.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: finished Suggested revision: completed Why it matters: A diploma is normally described as completed rather than finished in a formal application.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: managed Suggested revision: found Why it matters: ‘Manage a job’ does not mean successfully obtain employment in this context.
- 4. Fix verb complementation Original: has recommended me your agency Suggested revision: has recommended your agency to me Why it matters: The verb ‘recommend’ requires the thing recommended before ‘to me’.
- 5. Use the qualification term Original: a graphics design diploma certificate Suggested revision: a diploma in graphic design Why it matters: This is the natural way to name the qualification without redundant wording.
- 6. Use concise industry wording Original: a company that works in the web designing industry Suggested revision: a company in the web design industry Why it matters: The revision avoids the repetitive verb and uses the standard field name ‘web design’.
- 7. Express the contrast clearly Original: Since experience and not remuneration is my priority Suggested revision: Since experience rather than remuneration is my priority Why it matters: ‘Rather than’ creates a clearer and more natural contrast between the two priorities.
- 8. Use workplace terminology Original: flexible office time Suggested revision: flexible working hours Why it matters: ‘Flexible working hours’ is the standard term for the scheduling condition requested.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I hope you would have a look at my CV, which I am also sending to you in the same envelope, and help me find a suitable job that I am so eagerly looking forward to having. Suggested revision: I hope you will review the enclosed CV and help me find a suitable job that matches my interests. Why it matters: The revision removes the cumbersome relative clause and ends with a more natural expression.
- 10. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Separate the introduction, qualifications, job preferences and closing request into clear paragraphs. Why it matters: Distinct paragraphs would make the agency’s key information easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- graphics designing company graphic design company
- finished completed
- managed found
- has recommended me your agency has recommended your agency to me
- a graphics design diploma certificate a diploma in graphic design
- a company that works in the web designing industry a company in the web design industry
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter covers every required point and clearly presents the applicant's background, preferred design role, relevant skills and need for flexible hours. Its main limitation is repetitive and sometimes awkward employment vocabulary, although the formal purpose and progression remain clear. The highest priority is to replace imprecise phrases with standard professional expressions and reduce repeated references to companies, designing and looking for work.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The formal letter fully covers the introduction, desired part-time role, relevant qualifications, practical skills and availability requirements.
Make the request still more actionable by stating the preferred weekly hours or days of availability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content develops logically from background and referral to skills, job preferences, scheduling needs and the enclosed CV.
Divide the qualifications and job requirements into separate paragraphs and reduce repeated references to the same design industry.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for a professional application, but repeated wording and awkward collocations such as "graphics designing" and "managed a job" limit precision.
Use standard terms such as "graphic design", "secured a job", "flexible working hours" and "relevant employers".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is used clearly and mostly accurately, with occasional faulty coordination and agreement.
Check parallel structures and agreement in phrases such as "I am passionate about...and am looking forward" and "experience is my priority".
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter:
- introduce yourself
- explain what sort of job you would like
- say what experience and skills you have
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.