Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Sample Response
In a literal sense, Advertising is an art of showcasing a product to its future consumers. When a company or a person advertise a product he is conveying how the product would benefit the consumer with its unique and best features. Since the Inception of consumer markets merchants have been using Advertising and marketing to sell their product and increase their reach to maximum consumers. I am in absolute discord with the statement that Advertising insists people to buy things they do not need. In my view, Advertising is a key tool in the market mechanism and can benefit customers and ultimately merchants in several ways like spreading awareness, increasing competition, discourage monopoly and help the overall economy.
Advertising has helped and is continuing to help spread the right information and makes a consumer cognizant of what is available in the market. It helps drive the competition upwards benefitting the end customer by getting varied options to choose. For example, when 'Colgate' came in the market as the first toothpaste, consumers did not have any other option other than Colgate until other companies like 'Close-up' started advertising their product. This resulted in a boost in the competition which ultimately slashed the prices of the product. Thus, Advertising plays a very important role in engaging the end customer such that the buyer gets the best worth of what he is spending. While a consumer is the end target and beneficiary of any product produced by a merchant, a consumer is also the best judge of the decisions he takes in terms of what he wants to buy. In my opinion, it is inappropriate to blame the advertising for an increased consumer spending. To curb the unnecessary spending both people and government have to work collectively. People need to be wary of their spending and pay heed to their finances by managing them smartly. A government can play its part in authorising and monitoring the right contents to be published to the public. Hence, right and smart advertising can help a nation and its population in great ways by exploiting the benefits of advertising.
To draw the conclusion, barring a few disadvantages Advertising can be used as a tool to enhance the growth of an economy by increasing the spending, bringing the right products to the consumer, boosting the competition. Even Government can use smart adverts to make people aware of managing their finances and increase financial literacy. All in all, I would recommend healthier advertising to benefit the consumer, merchant and ultimately the world economy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Define more precisely Original: Advertising is an art Suggested revision: advertising is the practice Why it matters: Calling advertising a 'practice' is more precise than describing it as an art in this definition.
- 2. Fix subject agreement Original: a company or a person advertise Suggested revision: a company or person advertises Why it matters: The singular subjects joined by 'or' require the singular verb 'advertises'.
- 3. Use inclusive pronoun Original: he is conveying Suggested revision: they convey Why it matters: Singular 'they' agrees with the gender-neutral subject and the simple present fits a general statement.
- 4. Avoid incompatible modifiers Original: unique and best features Suggested revision: best features Why it matters: 'Unique' and 'best' make incompatible claims when both modify the same features.
- 5. Use lowercase Original: Inception Suggested revision: inception Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalised.
- 6. Add introductory comma Original: consumer markets merchants Suggested revision: consumer markets, merchants Why it matters: The introductory phrase must be separated from the main clause by a comma.
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: increase their reach to maximum consumers Suggested revision: reach as many consumers as possible Why it matters: The revision uses the idiomatic construction for maximising audience size.
- 8. Use correct collocation Original: absolute discord with Suggested revision: complete disagreement with Why it matters: 'Disagreement with a statement' is the appropriate collocation for rejecting a claim.
- 9. Choose accurate verb Original: Advertising insists people to buy Suggested revision: advertising encourages people to buy Why it matters: 'Insist' does not take a person plus infinitive and does not express advertising's persuasive effect accurately.
- 10. Make list parallel Original: increasing competition, discourage monopoly and help Suggested revision: increasing competition, discouraging monopolies and helping Why it matters: All items governed by 'like' should use parallel gerund forms.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: drive the competition upwards Suggested revision: increase competition Why it matters: 'Increase competition' is the standard and more concise collocation.
- 12. Clarify the benefit Original: by getting varied options to choose Suggested revision: by providing a variety of options Why it matters: The revision makes advertising the provider of options and removes the incomplete phrase 'options to choose'.
Suggested Rewrites
- Advertising is an art advertising is the practice
- a company or a person advertise a company or person advertises
- he is conveying they convey
- unique and best features best features
- Inception inception
- consumer markets merchants consumer markets, merchants
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear viewpoint and supports it with a substantial explanation of how advertising can inform consumers and stimulate competition. Its main weakness is that some later discussion about government action and financial management drifts from the precise choice posed, while the central body paragraph becomes overloaded. The highest-priority improvement is to organise two sharply focused reasons and develop each with directly relevant evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly supports one viewpoint and develops relevant benefits, though parts of the discussion become tangential and the opposing concern is dismissed rather than closely evaluated.
Keep every supporting point tied to why informative advertising outweighs encouragement of unnecessary buying.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically overall, but the very long central paragraph combines several arguments and relies on some repetitive linking and phrasing.
Separate the competition argument from the consumer-responsibility argument and give each a clear internal progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often topic-appropriate, although several awkward collocations and word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace expressions such as “insists people,” “right contents,” and “exploiting the benefits” with accurate, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a good range of complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, capitalization, and parallel-form errors limit control.
Proofread for subject-verb agreement and ensure items in lists use matching grammatical forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.