Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Nowadays, a tendency of trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor is gaining traction. I consider this development as a negative one since side effects of these treatments are unknown and effectiveness is not the same for all.
One of the main reasons why alternative way of treating yourself can bring more damage than traditional visit to doctor is the fact that those methods have unpredictable side effects. While conventional treatment methods are usually tested on side effects with different conditions or kinds of people, alternative medicines can have unpredictable outcomes as there is no institution that can guarantee minimal influence on health. It is well known that pharmaceuticals commonly suggested by specialists should have warnings about possible reactions such as change in mood, effects on skin. In contrast, alternative medication is not expected to have such precautions written.
As a result, people might get more serious health issues than they had before treating themselves with untraditional methods.
Another significant reason why the trend of treating yourself with alternative methods might be more dangerous is that these treatments are not suitable for all. As alternative medicines are not manifactured on the scale of traditional ones, the former products are not tested for having same influence on different people, which might be risky due to the fact that all have different physiological features to some extent. Conversely, traditional medication that doctors suggest has information about what impact these products have or can have on people with allergy, pregnant woman or other distinctions.
To conclude, I believe that as untraditional treatments often do not inform people about side effects and do not consider physiological differences, this trend can eventually cause more harm to people than the traditional visit to a specialist.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Word Choice Original: a tendency Suggested revision: the trend Why it matters: Using 'the trend' fits better in this context than 'a tendency'.
- 2. Grammar Error Original: as a negative one Suggested revision: to be negative Why it matters: The verb 'consider' is typically followed by an object and an adjective or noun phrase without 'as'.
- 3. Missing Article Original: side effects Suggested revision: the side effects Why it matters: A definite article is needed before 'side effects' because it refers to specific treatments.
- 4. Missing Article Original: effectiveness Suggested revision: their effectiveness Why it matters: Adding a possessive pronoun clarifies whose effectiveness is being discussed.
- 5. Grammar Error Original: alternative way Suggested revision: alternative ways Why it matters: The plural noun 'ways' or an article like 'an alternative way' is required here.
- 6. Missing Article Original: traditional visit to doctor Suggested revision: a traditional visit to the doctor Why it matters: Articles are missing before both 'traditional visit' and 'doctor'.
- 7. Preposition Error Original: tested on side effects with different conditions or kinds of people Suggested revision: tested for side effects under different conditions and on different groups of people Why it matters: The prepositions 'on' and 'with' are used incorrectly here.
- 8. Collocation Error Original: minimal influence on health Suggested revision: their safety Why it matters: 'Guarantee their safety' is clearer and more natural than 'guarantee minimal influence on health'.
- 9. Grammar Error Original: such as change in mood, effects on skin Suggested revision: such as mood changes or skin reactions Why it matters: Parallel noun forms are required to ensure grammatical balance.
- 10. Word Choice Original: alternative medication Suggested revision: alternative remedies Why it matters: 'Remedies' or 'medicines' is a more accurate collocation than 'medication' in this context.
- 11. Word Choice Original: untraditional methods Suggested revision: non-traditional methods Why it matters: 'Non-traditional' is the more standard adjective in academic writing.
- 12. Spelling Mistake Original: manifactured Suggested revision: manufactured Why it matters: The word 'manufactured' is misspelled.
Suggested Rewrites
- a tendency the trend
- as a negative one to be negative
- side effects the side effects
- effectiveness their effectiveness
- alternative way alternative ways
- traditional visit to doctor a traditional visit to the doctor
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent position throughout, arguing effectively that turning to alternative treatments is a negative development. The main ideas are well supported with logical explanations regarding safety and testing, though the body paragraphs somewhat overlap in focus. To achieve a higher score, broaden the range of supporting arguments and refine grammatical precision around article usage and prepositions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
You present a unequivocal position and address the prompt directly with relevant, developed main points.
Introduce distinct supporting arguments across paragraphs rather than focusing both on testing and safety limitations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure with logical paragraphing and appropriate linking words.
Ensure smooth transitions between similar ideas to prevent your body paragraphs from feeling slightly repetitive.
Lexical Resource
You use a good range of topic-specific vocabulary with mostly clear meaning, despite minor spelling and word-choice errors.
Focus on precise word combinations and correct spelling, such as fixing 'manifactured' and using 'unconventional' instead of 'untraditional'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but occasional grammatical errors with articles and plural forms persist.
Proofread carefully for missing articles, such as 'a traditional visit to the doctor' or 'pregnant women'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Your response
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