Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
The argument in favor of such a trendsuch trend is that patients' chances of survivalthe chance to survive for patients may increase as the choices of medical care methods increase. Compared with conventional doctors who haveusual doctors that have received limited training and do not havedon't have much knowledge about the latest development of medicine, alternative medicines and treatments derived from other medicine fields or the newest scientific researchresearches may provide unexpected improvements to patients' health. For example, people suffering from tumorstumor tend to roll the dicethrow a dice by choosing ancient medicine theories or treatments still under trialtests when no existent scientifically proved methods can help them survive. In this way, it seems reasonable to consider alternative medicines and treatments helpful in treatingas a help to curing fatal diseases.
However, this approach results in several harmfulharming outcomes to patients and the society, outweighing the minor benefits it cannot ensure. For patients, their usual doctors are the only expertsexpertise about their conditions in most cases, and believing in methods that they disapprove of isthey disapprove is absolutely a risky move. The current situation may be depressing, the prospect may be bleak, but it doesn't mean that it is a wise move for patients to gamble their lives for a seemingly promising future using measures that probably come from unqualified practitionerswizards' minds or don't suit their particular status at all. In fact, people with terminal diseases who are most desperate for trying new alternatives have a much lower chance of survivalreceive quite lower survival chance than continuing with original treatments.
Moreover, as the trend grows popular, the trust relationship between patients and doctors will gradually collapse, thereby affecting the medical care for the whole society. As the number of patients who have little professional knowledge refuse to take doctors' prescriptions rise, more ordinary people will be affected by this trend believe less in doctors' suggestions, even if they are always right. What's worse, misleading advertisementsfake advertisement will make use of this general skepticism, trying to promote their fake but well publicized products to more people, and gradually replacing the hospital's role in medical care. Do we really want to live in a society wherethat people take fake pills instead of professional people's help to cure diseases?
In conclusion, people's distrust of conventional doctorsdistrust usual doctors and turning to alternative medicines and treatments is a harmful development that risks both patients' lives and the medical trust of the society for a negligible amount of luck.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a strong, well-reasoned argument that clearly outlines why alternative medicine is largely a negative development. Ideas are supported with convincing explanations and a broad range of sophisticated vocabulary. However, the response completely lacks an introductory paragraph, which affects the structural flow, and contains occasional grammatical slip-ups. To improve, always include a proper introduction setting up the topic and state a clear thesis statement from the beginning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You address all parts of the prompt with well-developed arguments and present a consistent position on why this trend is overall negative.
Include a distinct opening introduction that introduces the prompt's background and explicitly outlines your position before the first body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates clear progression between paragraphs and uses logical connectors effectively, though the absence of an introduction weakens the overarching essay structure.
Ensure your essay follows a standard four-paragraph format containing an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a comprehensive conclusion.
Lexical Resource
You display a good range of topic-specific vocabulary and expressive phrasing to articulate complex points effectively.
Refine word choices and natural collocations by replacing slightly awkward expressions like 'harming outcomes' or 'throw a dice'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence structures are attempted with good overall control, though minor grammatical errors occur when managing longer sentences.
Proofread complex clauses to ensure correct verb forms and agreement, particularly in sentences involving multiple relative or subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.