Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
In the 21st century, cinemas have become ubiquitous. However, being widespread movie theatres aren't able to lure people to spend their leisure time. It is agreed that gradually the number of people turn up at theatres is going to decrease in view of current trends. It is due to ticket prices that have skyrocketed over the last few years along with the advent of online movie rentals and download. Firstly, the cost of tickets has surged in the last decade. For example, it is almost 10 times more that we are spending compared to 1990's. Unfortunately, this is something that has a negative impact which is difficult to encounter despite the advanced technology, better sitting and ease of booking. Thus, it makes it clear why the future of big screen is bleak. Secondly, the introduction of online movie libraries for rentals as well as downloads at affordable prices. For instance, iTunes and Netflix have jumped into this area to offer customers economical options to buy or rent movies. It’s more appealing to stay in and watch something on a computer screen or tablet with no physical constraints. Therefore, it’s hard to imagine for people to show up at cinemas. The environment of the cinema halls and the quality of movies are also in question. Very few families nowadays go to cinema while this was a common trend even in later 90’s. To summarise, it is the expensive tickets as well as the movie watching options on the internet that have led to the decline of people visiting cinemas to spend their free time. Thus, it is clear why the number of people going to watch a flick will eventually decrease further in years to come.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun phrase Original: turn Suggested revision: turning Why it matters: A gerund phrase is needed after “the number of people.”
- 2. Use parallel plurals Original: download Suggested revision: downloads Why it matters: Both coordinated countable services should be plural.
- 3. Correct comparison structure Original: it is almost 10 times more that we are spending Suggested revision: we are spending almost ten times as much Why it matters: The revision uses the standard structure for comparing amounts spent.
- 4. Correct decade form Original: 1990's Suggested revision: the 1990s Why it matters: A decade takes no apostrophe, and the comparison requires the article “the.”
- 5. Clarify intended meaning Original: something that has a negative impact which is difficult to encounter Suggested revision: a negative trend that is difficult to reverse Why it matters: “Encounter” does not express the intended difficulty of changing this trend.
- 6. Remove article Original: the advanced technology Suggested revision: advanced technology Why it matters: The general uncountable noun phrase does not require “the.”
- 7. Use correct noun Original: sitting Suggested revision: seating Why it matters: “Seating” refers to the seats or seating arrangements in a cinema.
- 8. Add article Original: the future of big screen Suggested revision: the future of the big screen Why it matters: The fixed expression “the big screen” requires the definite article.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: jumped into this area Suggested revision: entered this market Why it matters: This phrase describes the companies’ commercial participation more precisely.
- 10. Choose precise adjective Original: economical Suggested revision: affordable Why it matters: “Affordable” directly describes options that customers can pay for.
- 11. Correct infinitive pattern Original: hard to imagine for people to show up Suggested revision: hard to imagine people choosing to go Why it matters: “Imagine” takes a noun phrase followed by a gerund in this structure.
- 12. Remove article Original: the cinema halls Suggested revision: cinema halls Why it matters: The statement refers to cinema halls generally rather than a specific set.
Suggested Rewrites
- turn turning
- download downloads
- it is almost 10 times more that we are spending we are spending almost ten times as much
- 1990's the 1990s
- something that has a negative impact which is difficult to encounter a negative trend that is difficult to reverse
- the advanced technology advanced technology
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement with the prediction and supports it through two relevant drivers: rising ticket prices and convenient online alternatives. Its main limitation is the dense, single-paragraph presentation, compounded by several sentence fragments and awkward expressions that interrupt otherwise logical development. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the reasons into focused paragraphs and ensure that every example is expressed in a complete, precise sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and the main reasons are relevant and supported with examples, though points about cinema environment and film quality remain undeveloped.
Either develop the environment and quality point with a causal explanation or omit it and deepen the two central reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a recognisable sequence from price to online access and conclusion, but the absence of paragraphing and some mechanical links reduce clarity.
Use separate body paragraphs for ticket costs and home-viewing convenience, each with a clear topic sentence and supporting example.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate range for discussing entertainment trends, but collocations such as “encounter a negative impact,” “better sitting,” and “later 90’s” are inaccurate.
Use natural expressions such as offset the impact, improved seating, cinema attendance, and the late 1990s.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but fragments, relative-clause errors, and faulty infinitive constructions occur frequently.
Turn fragments such as “Secondly, the introduction...” into complete clauses and check structures after “imagine,” “cause,” and comparative phrases.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.