Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Cinema is the entertainment mode for many people. It is the most affordable recreational activity which comes in handy for all kinds of people. If we see the development in the field of cinema, there has been a tremendous development in the field of the silver screen. In the past, cinema houses were limited but people used to go to cinema houses due to the inadequacy of entertainment media in houses.
As the technology developed, the technical advancements in the field of home entertainment made entertainment more affordable.This affordability made all to have their own entertainment systems. This change led to the downing trend of the people’s interest to the cinema houses. Eventually, after a certain period in the future, people might not be coming to the silver screen houses rather they would be liking to sit at home and enjoy.
If we see the recent number of people attending to a cinema house, we have to agree to the fact that there has been a considerable drop in the number of people attending cinema houses. As far as my opinion is concerned, the euphoria of the silver screen is diminishing and it would not be surprised to note that people in future do not go to cinema house. If we consider an example of the cinema viewing experience, South India is a good example people used to see a movie in cinema hall and the released movie used to play in the allocated hall for at least 80 days but if we see the present situation a new movie in an allocated hall stays hardly for 2 to 4 weeks. There is a considerable drop in the viewing experience of people, the reason behind this is the availability of home entertainment, access to various other programs which are attractive than movies, piracy, change in lifestyle,competitive world bulldozed by career goals. Not only this, few of the movies which are made now are not attractive in comparison with the movies of the earlier era, they do not possess entertainment values.
From the above, it can be adjudged that silver screen is definitely coming to extinction, maybe not in the near future but after a certain period of time, the cinema houses would stand as a monumental piece.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural expression Original: the entertainment mode Suggested revision: a form of entertainment Why it matters: 'A form of entertainment' is the idiomatic expression for this meaning.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: which comes in handy Suggested revision: that is accessible Why it matters: 'Comes in handy' means useful and does not accurately express affordability or accessibility.
- 3. Avoid reader address Original: If we see the development Suggested revision: Considering the development Why it matters: This participial opener states the analytical relationship more directly.
- 4. Avoid repetition Original: tremendous development Suggested revision: substantial progress Why it matters: This avoids repeating 'development' in the same sentence.
- 5. Express limited number Original: cinema houses were limited Suggested revision: cinemas were limited in number Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the number of cinemas was limited.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: inadequacy of entertainment media in houses Suggested revision: lack of home entertainment options Why it matters: The original noun phrase is unnatural and unnecessarily abstract.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: As the technology developed Suggested revision: As technology developed Why it matters: 'Technology' is used as an uncountable general noun here.
- 8. Repair verb pattern Original: made all to have Suggested revision: enabled everyone to have Why it matters: 'Make' cannot take 'all to have' in this structure.
- 9. Use correct collocation Original: downing Suggested revision: downward Why it matters: 'Downward trend' is the standard expression for a decline.
- 10. Correct collocation Original: interest to the cinema houses Suggested revision: interest in cinemas Why it matters: The noun 'interest' takes the preposition 'in'.
- 11. Use concise future form Original: might not be coming Suggested revision: might no longer come Why it matters: The simple modal construction expresses this future possibility more naturally.
- 12. Fix contrast and aspect Original: rather they would be liking Suggested revision: but would prefer Why it matters: The contrast needs 'but', and the stative verb should not use a continuous form here.
Suggested Rewrites
- the entertainment mode a form of entertainment
- which comes in handy that is accessible
- If we see the development Considering the development
- tremendous development substantial progress
- cinema houses were limited cinemas were limited in number
- inadequacy of entertainment media in houses lack of home entertainment options
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear agreement with the prediction and supports it with relevant reasons, including home entertainment, changing lifestyles and a regional example. However, development becomes repetitive and list-like, while awkward vocabulary and frequent sentence-level errors blur some explanations. The main priority is to build two focused arguments with specific support, then revise long sentences for accurate grammar, punctuation and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, though several claims are asserted or listed rather than fully explained.
Develop the strongest two reasons with clear causal explanation and specific evidence instead of adding a broad list.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence creates broad progression, but repetition, run-on sentences and an overloaded main paragraph weaken cohesion.
Give each body paragraph one central claim and connect supporting sentences through clear logical relationships.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied topic vocabulary, but repetition and unnatural collocations frequently reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases with natural expressions and avoid repeating cinema houses, entertainment and development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several complex structures are attempted, but agreement, article, comparison and sentence-boundary errors occur frequently.
Break long clauses into controlled sentences and check articles, verb forms and comparative structures during revision.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.