Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Cinema was really popular amongst people in old days and still is, however, many believe that the age of silver screen is going to be over soon as more and more people become less interested in visiting cinema just to watch a movie. In my opinion, I believe they will never go out of fashion or forgotten. The first point to consider is why some people would think that cinema is losing its popularity. One reason is that, nowadays, almost all the families have televisions in their home and they would want to see a movie in the conform of their home rather than going all the way to a multiplex. For instance, these days, it's easy to switch on TV and look for a movie you like and watch it laying on the couch. Likewise, many companies provide online video watching services and people are able to buy movies directly from the internet and watch it later anytime. For example, Netflix offers monthly subscriptions for their large online movie and TV series database making any program just a click away. Nevertheless, there are two main reasons why silver screen will never become obsolete. First is that the feeling of watching movie on televisions or online will never surpass the instant gratification and thrills of watching in a theatre, because the screens in theatre are a lot bigger compared to a computer monitor or television screen and the sound systems, such as that of an IMAX theatre, is far better than home theatre system. It can be also observed that 4D movie watching is becoming a trend in the modern society and it is making cinema popular, especially for children. It is not easy to experience 4D at home as the equipment are expensive and not easy to set up. In my conclusion, the silver screen will never lose its glitter and there always will be people wanting to watch first-day-first-show of a blockbuster movie.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: amongst people in old days Suggested revision: among people in the past Why it matters: In the past is the natural expression for an earlier period.
- 2. Repair comma splice Original: and still is, however, many Suggested revision: and still is; however, many Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before however because it joins two independent clauses.
- 3. Add definite article Original: the age of silver screen Suggested revision: the age of the silver screen Why it matters: The fixed expression silver screen requires the definite article here.
- 4. Use natural expression Original: visiting cinema Suggested revision: going to the cinema Why it matters: Going to the cinema is the standard expression for attending a film screening.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: almost all the families Suggested revision: almost all families Why it matters: Families is a general plural noun here and does not require the definite article.
- 6. Match plural families Original: home Suggested revision: homes Why it matters: The plural possessive subject families requires homes in this general statement.
- 7. Correct word choice Original: conform Suggested revision: comfort Why it matters: Comfort, not conform, means a state of physical ease.
- 8. Add article Original: switch on TV Suggested revision: switch on the TV Why it matters: TV requires the definite article in this expression.
- 9. Use correct verb Original: laying Suggested revision: lying Why it matters: Lie means recline, while lay requires a direct object.
- 10. Use standard term Original: video watching services Suggested revision: video-streaming services Why it matters: Video-streaming services is the established term for this type of platform.
- 11. Fix pronoun and order Original: watch it later anytime Suggested revision: watch them later at any time Why it matters: The pronoun must agree with plural movies, and at any time is the natural adverbial phrase.
- 12. Fix preposition and pronoun Original: subscriptions for their Suggested revision: subscriptions to its Why it matters: A subscription is to a service, and the singular company Netflix takes its.
Suggested Rewrites
- amongst people in old days among people in the past
- and still is, however, many and still is; however, many
- the age of silver screen the age of the silver screen
- visiting cinema going to the cinema
- almost all the families almost all families
- home homes
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response takes a clear position and supports it with relevant contrasts between home viewing and the distinctive cinema experience, including concrete examples. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by recurring language errors that make several comparisons awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the counterargument and supporting reasons into separate paragraphs, then edit agreement, articles, and word forms for greater control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent disagreement position is developed through relevant reasons and examples, although the two claimed supporting reasons overlap rather than forming fully distinct arguments.
Frame the immersive theatre experience and technological innovations as two clearly separate reasons and develop the long-term significance of each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a counterargument, rebuttal, and conclusion, but the absence of paragraph breaks substantially weakens the visible organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the opposing view, the reasons for continued cinema attendance, and the conclusion, with one controlling idea in each.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic and some effective specific terms, but repeated collocational and word-choice errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Check common phrases and word forms, replacing errors such as conform of their home and laying on the couch with accurate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures and remains understandable, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, plurals, and clause construction limit control.
Edit noun phrases and verb agreement systematically, especially in comparisons involving screens, sound systems, equipment, and home-viewing options.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. Do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.