Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
It’s widely believed in today’s materialistic world that the latest innovative fashion trends hold great significance. On the other hand, such trends are believed to be set only in the pursuit of profits for large designer companies. It seems that in recent times, people are now changing their minds in regards to wearing clothes for comfort and as a personal choice. Personally, I agree that we should pay more attention to individuality and comfort in the way we dress. Firstly, fashion designs exist as a form of creative artistic expression of the designer. Although this may be true, undoubtedly such designs take away individuality once a trend is set in place. By this, I mean that there is nothing unique about wearing what everybody else does. More specifically, if everyone sports the latest colour and design in summer skirts, do we not look the same? Secondly, It is possible that fashion trends can look extremely stylish to the general public. However, it can be argued that the main purpose of wearing clothes is for more functional reasons. This is primarily due to the fact that clothes were traditionally worn to protect people from climatic conditions. For instance, clothes are still worn basically to keep people warm and dry in winter and cool in summer. Finally, fashion certainly gives us a sense of confidence and pride in our appearance. While this is certainly a good point, it also means that following such changeable trends proves to be expensive. For example, purchasing every latest season’s fashion item will, of course, blow the budget of many young people. In conclusion, there are various arguments to support the dismissal of fashion trends, consisting of not conforming, comfort and price, which I strongly agree with.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: latest innovative fashion trends Suggested revision: latest fashion trends Why it matters: Latest and innovative overlap here, so one modifier is sufficient.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: hold great significance Suggested revision: are highly significant Why it matters: The replacement expresses the idea more naturally and directly.
- 3. Clarify business purpose Original: set only in the pursuit of profits for large designer companies Suggested revision: set solely to generate profits for large fashion companies Why it matters: The revision uses a clearer purpose structure and a more natural company label.
- 4. Remove repeated timing Original: in recent times, people are now Suggested revision: people are now Why it matters: In recent times and now express the same time reference.
- 5. Correct fixed phrase Original: in regards to Suggested revision: with regard to Why it matters: With regard to is the standard expression in this context.
- 6. Avoid overlapping words Original: creative artistic expression Suggested revision: artistic expression Why it matters: Artistic already conveys the idea of creativity here.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: take away individuality Suggested revision: undermine individuality Why it matters: Undermine expresses the gradual loss of individuality more precisely.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: once a trend is set in place Suggested revision: once a trend becomes established Why it matters: A trend becomes established rather than being set in place.
- 9. Correct capitalization Original: It Suggested revision: it Why it matters: It should not be capitalized after the introductory adverb and comma.
- 10. Remove vague comparison Original: for more functional reasons Suggested revision: for functional reasons Why it matters: More has no stated point of comparison and is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- latest innovative fashion trends latest fashion trends
- hold great significance are highly significant
- set only in the pursuit of profits for large designer companies set solely to generate profits for large fashion companies
- in recent times, people are now people are now
- in regards to with regard to
- creative artistic expression artistic expression
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response has a clear, consistent position and supports it with three relevant reasons, particularly the points about individuality and cost. Its main limitation is that the argument is presented as one continuous paragraph, making the progression feel mechanical despite generally effective linking. The highest-priority improvement is to organise each main idea into a distinct paragraph and develop the relationship between commercial fashion trends and personal choice more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with several relevant, adequately extended reasons and examples.
Develop the commercial purpose of fashion trends more directly and connect it more explicitly to the case for personal choice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a logical sequence, but the single-paragraph presentation and formulaic sequencing weaken overall organisation.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one developed reason.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied vocabulary conveys the argument precisely, although a few collocations and concluding phrases are awkward.
Refine combinations such as references to seasonal purchases and express the final list of reasons in more natural wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control and only occasional non-impeding errors.
Proofread for small accuracy issues in capitalization, prepositions, and noun phrase construction.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
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