Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Nowadays, we live in consumerism advanced era in which whether following fashion trends or not has become a debatable issue, especially, among the young generation. Some people believe that pursuing this trend is a good way of improving people’s lifestyles, while many others argue that people should dress something more comfortable. I advocate the latter group at least for two main reasons elaborated below.
The first group claim that in this day and age, wearing in vogue clothes enhances the sense of pride and self-confident among the people. In addition, it is a necessary task for celebrities and famous individuals. Of course, they are right to some extent, but I am of the conception that the drawbacks of following this trend outweigh its benefits.
Firstly, it is obvious that fashion is a changeable trend by its nature. Consequently, following this dynamic procedure cost so much and it is kind of wasting people’s money and time. As an example, one of my cousins allocates more than fifty percent of his income to the latest attire instead of saving it for his future life. Moreover, it should be mentioned that the main purpose of wearing clothes is to protect humans’ body from different weather conditions rather than showing off.
Secondly, people’s clothes should illustrate their own personality and uniqueness instead of mocking someone else who works for the film or fashion industry. To be more precise, people should appreciate their own tastes, believes. However, the predominant feature of fashion is being against the traditions and cultures of many societies. All in all, from what has been discussed, I pen down saying that although pursuing fashion might be a pleasant task for some people, it is an expensive and improper trend in a long run.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix adjective order Original: consumerism advanced era Suggested revision: advanced consumerist era Why it matters: Consumerist is the adjective, and it belongs before the noun era.
- 2. Use infinitive structure Original: whether following fashion trends or not Suggested revision: whether to follow fashion trends Why it matters: The whether-to-infinitive structure is more natural in this noun clause.
- 3. Remove extra comma Original: especially, among Suggested revision: especially among Why it matters: A comma should not separate especially from its following phrase.
- 4. Use correct clothing verb Original: dress Suggested revision: wear Why it matters: Wear takes clothing as its object, whereas dress does not here.
- 5. Fix subject agreement Original: claim Suggested revision: claims Why it matters: The collective noun group takes a singular verb in this context.
- 6. Use natural fashion phrase Original: wearing in vogue clothes Suggested revision: wearing fashionable clothes Why it matters: Fashionable clothes is the natural collocation.
- 7. Use noun form Original: confident Suggested revision: confidence Why it matters: The noun self-confidence is required after sense of pride and.
- 8. Remove generic article Original: among the people Suggested revision: among people Why it matters: People is used generically here and does not require the.
- 9. Remove awkward noun Original: a necessary task for Suggested revision: necessary for Why it matters: Following fashion can be necessary, but it is not naturally called a task.
- 10. Use natural opinion phrase Original: I am of the conception that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: I believe is the natural expression for stating this opinion.
- 11. Use standard example linker Original: As an example Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: For example is the standard linker introducing an illustration.
- 12. Use spending collocation Original: allocates more than fifty percent of his income to the latest attire Suggested revision: spends more than fifty percent of his income on the latest clothes Why it matters: Spend money on clothes is the natural collocation for this example.
Suggested Rewrites
- consumerism advanced era advanced consumerist era
- whether following fashion trends or not whether to follow fashion trends
- especially, among especially among
- dress wear
- claim claims
- wearing in vogue clothes wearing fashionable clothes
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains clear disagreement and offers several relevant reasons, particularly cost and personal identity, with a brief concession to the appeal of fashionable clothing. Its main limitation is that claims about culture and clothing's sole purpose are asserted, while comfort is not directly developed. Prioritise a focused explanation of why personal comfort and choice outweigh trend-following, then replace frequent awkward collocations and grammatical word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported through cost, practicality, individuality, and culture, although some claims are insufficiently explained and comfort receives little attention.
Develop the central comparison by showing how comfortable, personally chosen clothing offers lasting value whereas rapidly changing trends create pressure and expense.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical introduction, concession, two-reason discussion, and conclusion, but some linking is mechanical and the final body paragraph shifts abruptly between ideas.
Give personal identity and cultural conflict separate explanations, each connected explicitly to the argument against following trends.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad range of fashion and consumer vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate combinations such as "consumerism advanced era," "dynamic procedure," and "mocking someone" weaken precision.
Use natural phrases such as "consumer-driven era," "rapidly changing trend," "imitating celebrities," and "personal tastes and beliefs."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, word form, possessives, and punctuation reduce control.
Correct forms such as "a consumer-driven era," "the first group claims," "self-confidence," "following trends costs," and "in the long run."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
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