Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
During the early days of civilisation, clothing was nothing more than a simple need of every human being. All they ever needed was a piece of clothing to cover and protect themselves from the harsh weather the Mother Nature had to offer.
But times have changed. This simple need of man has transformed into a lucrative business, alluring people from all ages regardless of their gender or social status. The world of fashion has grown at an astonishing rate during the past couple of years. Companies such as Dolce & Gabbana, Levis, Tommy Hilfiger are some brands that have been dominating the market with fashion trends bringing in millions of dollars in revenue annually. Yet, there remains the question “Is this really worth it?”.
People pay an absurd amount of money to buy clothes which do not suit them nor do not make them feel comfortable. Yet, they purchase these for social status, prestige and bragging rights. In my honest opinion, I feel these fashion trends have brought in social discrimination among the young crowd. Kids with simple clothing feel inferior to those who look highly fashionable wearing branded clothing.
I feel the old saying “Do not judge a book by its cover” no longer exists. People nowadays judge others by their clothes and fashion sense, and not for who they really are. Fashion is not something that should be followed blindly. It is just unnecessary and not a definite need of man. I and most of the others believe that people should wear clothes which make them feel comfortable. This is something which I regard is more important than fashion.
I believe it is time for us to stop following the fashion herd and be ourselves. We should wear simple yet comfortable clothes and live our life with comfort at heart.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: the Mother Nature Suggested revision: Mother Nature Why it matters: The proper name “Mother Nature” does not take the definite article.
- 2. Fix the preposition Original: from Suggested revision: of Why it matters: “Of all ages” is the standard expression for people across age groups.
- 3. Remove extra punctuation Original: it?”. Suggested revision: it?” Why it matters: The question mark inside the quotation already closes the sentence, so the final full stop is unnecessary.
- 4. Remove double negation Original: nor Suggested revision: or Why it matters: After the negative verb “do not suit,” the coordination should use “or,” not “nor do not.”
- 5. Use the correct collocation Original: brought in social discrimination Suggested revision: contributed to social discrimination Why it matters: “Contributed to” naturally expresses the claimed effect on social discrimination.
- 6. Repair the comparison Original: , and not for who Suggested revision: , rather than by who Why it matters: The parallel comparison requires “by” on both sides and does not need “and.”
- 7. Use concise wording Original: a definite need of man Suggested revision: a basic human need Why it matters: “A basic human need” states the idea more naturally and precisely.
- 8. Fix the verb pattern Original: which I regard is Suggested revision: that I regard as Why it matters: The verb pattern is “regard something as,” so “as” must follow the verb.
- 9. Fix number agreement Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural subject “we” requires the plural noun “lives” in this meaning.
- 10. Use natural phrasing Original: a simple need of every human being Suggested revision: a basic need for every human being Why it matters: “A basic need for every human being” expresses the idea more naturally.
- 11. Use inclusive wording Original: This simple need of man Suggested revision: This basic human need Why it matters: “Basic human need” is more concise and inclusive than “need of man.”
- 12. Choose the right verb Original: alluring Suggested revision: appealing to Why it matters: A business appeals to people, whereas “allure” is awkward in this participial structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- the Mother Nature Mother Nature
- from of
- it?”. it?”
- nor or
- brought in social discrimination contributed to social discrimination
- , and not for who , rather than by who
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response takes a clear position against following fashion blindly and develops relevant reasons involving cost, comfort, judgement, and social pressure. Its main limitation is that some claims are generalised and several expressions or grammatical structures are awkward, which weakens precision despite clear progression. The highest priority is to replace broad assertions with a specific example and proofread complex sentences for natural collocation and accurate clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees with the opinion and develops several relevant reasons, although some claims remain broad or unsupported.
Strengthen the argument with one specific example showing how fashion pressure affects people's choices or social relationships.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with generally effective linking despite some repetition and a lengthy contextual opening.
State the position earlier and streamline the background so that the main argument begins more directly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of vocabulary for fashion and social behaviour, though several collocations and phrases are awkward.
Refine word combinations and replace imprecise phrases with natural academic expressions, particularly when describing people, status, and comfort.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally clear meaning, but recurring errors in coordination, articles, and relative clauses remain.
Proofread complex sentences for parallel structures, article use, and correctly formed relative clauses before finalising the essay.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it’s widely believed that they primarily exist just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we shouldn’t follow them and that we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.