Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
People have different opinions about whether women and men could fit the same type of work or not. Some people argue that both genders have the same capabilities, while others oppose this point of view. This essay will discuss both arguments.
On the one hand, people who claim that both men and women could occupy the same types works, based their idea on the fact that the world has changed, these days more and more women go outside to work, and this development has approved that women are able to perform jobs successfully. For instance, many sensitive positions are occupied by women such as politics, teachers and doctors. According to this, it is clear that there is no any difference regarding the gender and the most significant factor is the individual abilities.
On the other hand, there are people who said that women and men cannot suit the same type of employment. Due to physical and natural differences, women are not able to choose a career in the army, for example, because these types of jobs are quite difficult, and need a stronger body. In contrast,some jobs are more suitable for women such as nursing and caring, because they have what it is called caring nature.
In conclusion, this essay has looked at both views regarding the abilities to suits in different types of works and gender. It would seem that women and men are capable of having the same type of careers and individual ability is far essential than gender choice.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing preposition Original: same types works Suggested revision: same types of work Why it matters: The phrase needs "of" and "work" is uncountable here.
- 2. Verb form Original: based their idea Suggested revision: base their idea Why it matters: Use the present simple after "people who claim."
- 3. Wrong verb Original: this development has approved Suggested revision: this development has proved Why it matters: "Proved" means shown to be true; "approved" means officially accepted.
- 4. Parallel examples Original: politics, teachers and doctors Suggested revision: politics, teaching, and medicine Why it matters: The list should use fields or professions consistently.
- 5. Double negative Original: there is no any difference Suggested revision: there is no difference Why it matters: Do not use "no" with "any" in this structure.
- 6. Verb tense Original: people who said Suggested revision: people who say Why it matters: Use present simple for a general viewpoint.
- 7. Wrong verb Original: cannot suit Suggested revision: are not suited to Why it matters: People are "suited to" jobs.
- 8. Add space Original: In contrast,some jobs Suggested revision: In contrast, some jobs Why it matters: There should be a space after the comma.
- 9. Unnatural phrase Original: what it is called caring nature Suggested revision: what is often called a caring nature Why it matters: This fixes the phrase and adds the needed article.
- 10. Word form Original: abilities to suits Suggested revision: ability to suit Why it matters: Use singular "ability" and the base verb after "to."
- 11. Wrong comparative Original: far essential Suggested revision: far more important Why it matters: "Essential" does not work naturally in this comparison.
- 12. Precise ending Original: gender choice Suggested revision: gender Why it matters: The issue is gender, not a "gender choice."
Suggested Rewrites
- same types works same types of work
- based their idea base their idea
- this development has approved this development has proved
- politics, teachers and doctors politics, teaching, and medicine
- there is no any difference there is no difference
- people who said people who say
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both sides and reaches a clear final view that ability matters more than gender. However, the task asks the writer to agree or disagree, so the opinion should be stated and defended more directly throughout.
Rewrite the introduction as a clear agreement or disagreement, then use the body paragraphs to support that position while acknowledging the opposing view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is appropriate and easy to follow. Some cohesion is weakened by unclear referencing and awkward transitions.
Use clearer topic sentences that show whether each paragraph supports or challenges gender-based job suitability.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Practise collocations with "suitable for," "types of work," "individual ability," and "physical strength."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors are frequent, especially in relative clauses, verb forms, articles, and sentence structure, but meaning is usually clear.
Focus on building grammatically complete sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and plural nouns.