Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
Sample Response
Being a controversial subject among people, whether or not living in a private house outweighs being settled in an apartment, is not an easy decision. In this essay, the pros and cons of both these ways of living are going to be discussed.
People living in a house benefit their privacy as they do not have any neighbours in their place to share some areas like staircases or corridors. Besides, having a desirable garden could be a marked characteristic for individuals being interested in gardening and or providing a sufficient play area for their offspring and pets. Despite a variety of merits, possessing a house could embody some sort of difficulties ranging from low security to some extra maintaining expenses.
On the other hand, thanks to expanding the state-of-the-art lifestyle in the multitude of cities, especially the mega cities, living in an apartment is going to be more convenient because of some advantages. The main merit is that living in an apartment contributes to being more secured in comparison with a house, as the inhabitants need to take care of just one entrance and building guards provide higher security for the owners, as well. Low independence feeling, however, could be mentioned as the most significant drawback of a flat in a building, particularly towers.
In conclusion, all things considered, both circumstances of living possess their own plus and minus points. Nevertheless, I somewhat concur that due to the modern way of life in which plenty of people live, living in an apartment could be more profitable with regard to the level of security and lower cost of maintenance of property and some probable repairing issues.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise term Original: these ways of living Suggested revision: these living arrangements Why it matters: Living arrangements is a more concise and natural term for the two options.
- 2. Use concise future Original: are going to be discussed Suggested revision: will be discussed Why it matters: Will forms a more concise future passive in this formal sentence.
- 3. Correct verb pattern Original: benefit their privacy Suggested revision: enjoy greater privacy Why it matters: Benefit does not take privacy as a direct object with the intended meaning.
- 4. Clarify location Original: in their place Suggested revision: in the same building Why it matters: The original phrase is vague and does not clearly identify the shared residential space.
- 5. Fix relative structure Original: to share Suggested revision: with whom they must share Why it matters: The replacement correctly links the neighbours to the shared areas.
- 6. Use formal example marker Original: like staircases or corridors Suggested revision: such as staircases or corridors Why it matters: Such as is the more precise formal marker for these examples.
- 7. Use specific adjective Original: desirable garden Suggested revision: private garden Why it matters: Private identifies the relevant advantage more precisely than desirable.
- 8. Correct noun choice Original: a marked characteristic Suggested revision: a significant advantage Why it matters: Advantage accurately describes the benefit being discussed.
- 9. Remove faulty participle Original: individuals being interested in Suggested revision: individuals interested in Why it matters: The reduced relative clause does not require being.
- 10. Fix coordination Original: gardening and or providing Suggested revision: gardening or providing Why it matters: A single coordinating conjunction is required between the alternatives.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: could embody some sort of difficulties Suggested revision: may present some difficulties Why it matters: Present difficulties is the natural collocation for introducing drawbacks.
- 12. Add comparison Original: low security Suggested revision: lower security Why it matters: The comparative form is needed because houses are being contrasted with apartments.
Suggested Rewrites
- these ways of living these living arrangements
- are going to be discussed will be discussed
- benefit their privacy enjoy greater privacy
- in their place in the same building
- to share with whom they must share
- like staircases or corridors such as staircases or corridors
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a relevant comparison, moves logically through the main benefits and drawbacks of each housing type, and reaches a clear preference for apartments. Its main weakness is that the central judgement is delayed and the supporting points, especially maintenance cost and independence, are only briefly explained. State the comparative answer in the introduction and develop each side with clearer reasoning about why one set of advantages outweighs the other.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response covers relevant advantages and disadvantages and ultimately answers the comparative question, but its position is not clear until the conclusion and several points lack depth.
Give a direct outweigh judgement in the introduction and justify it by comparing the relative importance of the strongest benefits and drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into focused paragraphs with clear overall progression, though some linking is formulaic and a few sentences carry loosely connected details.
Use more precise internal links to show comparison and consequence instead of relying on stock transitions and repeated as clauses.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a good range for housing, privacy, security, and maintenance, but recurrent awkward collocations and imprecise word choices limit naturalness.
Replace strained expressions such as benefit their privacy and low independence feeling with precise, conventional phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentence forms is used and meaning remains clear, although errors in articles, comparison structures, modifiers, and verb patterns recur.
Check each complex sentence for accurate comparison and modification, particularly phrases built around compared with, due to, and participles.