Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
Sample Response
A home is being considered as a paradise on the earth as it could be a destination after a hectic day. These days we have multiple options for the home, like an independent house or an apartment. Different people have different views on choosing a type of accommodation. Firstly, let us look at the pros and cons of the house. An independent house is always considered as a status symbol. This could be one of the reasons that the majority of the film stars own a house rather than a flat. Another advantage could be; a personalised space is gained by living in a house. You are the owner of the area so you can change it as per your convenience. However, personal space could be quite expensive. It is known that houses are more expensive than an apartment. At times a house might not be a safe place to live. For example, it is not surprising to read news about murder and robbery in the villas these days. Nevertheless, it is a fact that the apartment concept is widely accepted by society, so its benefits cannot be ignored. Though living in an apartment could be noisy sometimes, it is a safe place to live in. For instance, a thief would think twice before entering into a place where many people are living. Moreover, a security guard is easily affordable in an apartment compared to a house. An apartment could be a good option for people who like to socialise more. For example, a conversation started with a simple hello, turns into a long hour chat. You tend to meet different kinds of people so there are higher chances of finding alike minded people in apartments. In this global world, people stay away from their families because of work. However, a party organised by the apartments secretaries could make people feel like celebrating festivals with families. I believe, it is an individual's choice to decide a kind of place to live. However, being a very social person I would prefer to live in an apartment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Tense choice Original: A home is being considered Suggested revision: A home is considered Why it matters: Use the simple passive for a general statement.
- 2. Less exaggerated Original: a paradise on the earth Suggested revision: a place of comfort Why it matters: This is more natural and less informal for an IELTS essay.
- 3. Natural phrasing Original: a destination after a hectic day Suggested revision: a place to return to after a hectic day Why it matters: The original phrase sounds unnatural.
- 4. Preposition error Original: multiple options for the home Suggested revision: multiple housing options Why it matters: This phrase is concise and grammatical.
- 5. Academic opening Original: Firstly, let us look Suggested revision: One advantage of living in a house is Why it matters: A direct topic sentence is stronger than announcing what the essay will do.
- 6. General noun Original: the pros and cons of the house Suggested revision: the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house Why it matters: This avoids casual wording and clarifies the topic.
- 7. Verb pattern Original: considered as a status symbol Suggested revision: considered a status symbol Why it matters: Considered does not need as in this structure.
- 8. Wrong punctuation Original: Another advantage could be; Suggested revision: Another advantage is that Why it matters: A semicolon is not appropriate before this clause.
- 9. Comparison phrase Original: an apartment compared to a house Suggested revision: an apartment than in a house Why it matters: This fits the comparison after affordable more naturally.
- 10. Verb collocation Original: entering into a place Suggested revision: entering a place Why it matters: Enter does not need into when used transitively.
- 11. Word form Original: alike minded people Suggested revision: like-minded people Why it matters: Like-minded is the standard adjective.
- 12. Article and noun form Original: a long hour chat Suggested revision: an hour-long chat Why it matters: This is the correct compound adjective.
Suggested Rewrites
- A home is being considered A home is considered
- a paradise on the earth a place of comfort
- a destination after a hectic day a place to return to after a hectic day
- multiple options for the home multiple housing options
- Firstly, let us look One advantage of living in a house is
- the pros and cons of the house the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay discusses both houses and apartments and gives a personal preference for apartments. The answer is relevant, but it does not directly compare whether houses have more advantages than disadvantages until the final preference.
Make the thesis explicitly answer the comparison: houses offer space and status, but apartments have stronger overall advantages for safety, cost, and community.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are understandable, but the whole response is one long paragraph, which weakens organisation. Some transitions are present, yet the comparison would be clearer with separate sections.
Use four paragraphs: introduction, house advantages/disadvantages, apartment advantages/disadvantages, and final judgement.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate housing and lifestyle vocabulary, but several phrases are informal, awkward, or imprecise.
Use natural terms such as independent house, apartment complex, personal space, security, maintenance costs, and like-minded people.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but article errors, preposition errors, and sentence punctuation problems are noticeable.
Edit long sentences into shorter academic sentences and check article use before countable singular nouns.