In modern cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbor and never feel a sense of community. What are the causes of this situation? How can we change it?
Sample Response
Nowadays, many urban residentscity people do not know their neighbours and lack a sense of communityclose community feeling. This is very common in daily life. People often stay at home alone and seldom talk with their neighbours. This essay will explain the reasons and possiblesimple solutions. There are some main reasons for this problem. First, mobile phones and the internet are ubiquitousvery popular. Many people spend lots of time chatting online or watching short videos. They focus on virtual life and have little time to communicate with neighbours. Spending too much time onlineLong time online also makes people less confident inbad at face-to-face interactionstalks. Second, people face great work pressure. Workers work long hours to finish their tasks and earn more money. They feel tired after work and have no energy to talk with neighbours. Some people are shy and never take the initiative to communicate with others nearby. Some useful methods can improve this situation. First, communities can hold weekend activities to help neighbours meet and talk with each other. This helps people get familiar easily. Second, companies can reduce working hoursshorten working time for employees. With more spare time after work, workers can have more chances to communicate with their neighbours. Third, people should not use phones too often. They can greet neighbours when they meet. Active communication can make neighbourhood relationships warmer. In conclusion, overuse of mobile phones and heavy work pressure make neighbours unfamiliar with each other. This problem can be solved easily. With the effortsWith efforts of communities and individuals, we can build a warmer and more harmonious living environment.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay directly answers both parts of the prompt with relevant causes and practical solutions. While the logical structure and task coverage are solid, the response relies on basic sentence structures and repetitive vocabulary. To improve, focus on expanding the range of academic vocabulary and incorporating more complex grammatical structures to demonstrate greater language control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main causes and potential solutions are clearly identified and directly address all aspects of the prompt.
Elaborate on main points with more detailed real-world examples rather than brief, generalized assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into dedicated body paragraphs with basic cohesive devices supporting clear progression.
Vary transitional phrases beyond basic sequential linkers to create a smoother, more natural flow between ideas.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is accurate and clear, but relies heavily on simple, repetitive phrasing.
Incorporate a wider range of precise, high-level vocabulary related to urbanization, technology, and social interactions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writing demonstrates good grammatical accuracy, though the structures are predominantly short and simple.
Use a higher proportion of complex and compound sentences with dependent clauses to enhance structural variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In modern cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbor and never feel a sense of community. What are the causes of this situation? How can we change it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.